Dear Rachal:

You are welcome. Yes, I did notice what you shared about his childhood and his relationships with his parents. Thing is, it is not relevant to his sexual orientation. In other words, he is attracted to men, he is having mutual sexual interactions with men, and he is in this habit of doing this for years. If he examines his childhood issues in therapy, let’s say, it will not change his sexual  orientation and habit.

Regarding his passionate sex with you- like I mentioned in my first post to you, he may be gay or bi-sexual. Your latest input makes me think that maybe he is indeed bi-sexual. (You did share though that he doesn’t have frequent sex with you, that you are the one who initiated spending time with him, not him, and you shared that as you waited for him to spend time with you, he sexted men instead, which led me to think that his preference is men).

“I know it sounds  like I am defending him”- my focus is  on defending you, not him.

Focus on what is right for you and for the children you may bring into the world. Seems to me that it is wrong for you and for your future children to have a husband and father who may come out of the closet later in life, a husband who has cheated on you repeatedly for 11 years and who will probably continue to do so because his habit is very strong, it is a powerful sexual habit that I don’t think he can resist.

anita