Thanks Anita!

To give you a bit of background and to answer your questions, he is the youngest of 4 kids, his other siblings are all girls.  His parents divorced when he was about 3, and also has 3 step brothers.

He has opened up a little about his relationship with his parents, and mostly his dad.  They don’t have much of a relationship, and rarely talk.  He saw him a couple months ago, but before then it had been a few years.  I actually met him in passing as well, and it was a quick handshake, and hello, but he didn’t engage in any conversation, or ask me any questions.  My boyfriend said that was to be expected though.

I believe he was fairly close to his step dad, but I’m not sure how his family dealt with their emotions.  Maybe because he was one of many siblings, he didn’t feel safe to share his feelings and be vulnerable?

He doesn’t have the best past with relationships.  He said he has been with many women, but only because he never thought he would get married and have kids.  I questioned him about this a little more, asking if that was because he didn’t want to get married and have kids, and he said that wasn’t the case, that it just wasn’t happening for him, and wasn’t meeting anyone.

I know he dated a girl on and off for a couple of years, but I’m not exactly sure why they broke up.  He moved in with her (moved to a different city about 10 hours away), and said right away that they just fought all the time, and it was miserable.  Another girl he dated wasn’t local either, and he went to visit her once, bought her a bunch of winter clothing etc. because she didn’t have much money etc.  As soon as he got back home from that visit, she called him and broke things off.  I think that soured him, and made him angry.

When we first started dating, right away he said he was gunshy about labels, and didn’t normally use them until a couple years or so (!).  I said I wasn’t ok with that, and he asked me what my time frame usually is, which I said at least within the first three months.  So right then, he said he knew we would be together at that point, and wanted to call me his girlfriend.

I know he verbalizes his hesitancy about relationships and stuff, but I have met his family and friends (pretty early on), he called me his gf when he normally waits a long time, so maybe he just feels better with me?  He also said he doesnt say the L word until at least a year….which I haven’t heard yet, but I’m waiting for.

I just don’t want to be stuck in another relationship where I’m waiting to move forward, as my past boyfriends I was with for years, and never got to the point of discussing marriage.  I’m 38 and still would like to have kids if possible, along with marriage.  I do see him as that in the future, I just don’t want to wait forever, and given his past, it makes me a little nervous.

Sorry if this is all over the place, but hope this gives you a little more insight!