I don’t know what to think Anita, as I go back and forth between feeling like he only sees it short-term, to also being confused by some of the things he says and some of the actions he makes. Also these new revelations seems to discredit what you have said in the past, no? IDo you still believe that he has trouble opening up with people because of his parents, or do you think it is just me he has trouble doing this with.

I’m confused as to why he would want to come to my family’s house and get involved with them again if he only sees it as short term. It would be much easier for him to say he’d rather just stay with his family on Christmas day. I’ve also know men who have seen me as a short term casual affair, and they don’t tend to care the way he does, or want to spend much time. If anything they’re indifferent, and at worst uninterested and it shows.  I know you’re saying that maybe he is able to do that because he knows it will end, but I feel the opposite is true, that he would feel guilty and thus he would slowly pull away more and more. I feel like he is unsure and that the only thing that would make him more sure is time and the dissolution of his ideals.

Therefore he would need to seek out other women to reinforce that I am truly not or truly am what he is looking for. I feel it is more a case of what you said before. Him feeling imperfect and being afraid to disappoint me and be rejected by me in the end. Thus no one can be perfect enough to suit his ideal. I feel he’s played defense more than offense? He has told me that he has ended relationships a lot sooner and for simpler reasons than the ones that he tried to pin on me.

I also don’t think he would’ve been so distraught at the idea of losing me over the summer. He was severely depressed for the weeks that we weren’t talking or seeing each other much. I feel like men who have not really wanted to be with me and have been fine to move on and seem to feel relief when it’s over.

Like I said in my heart of hearts, I’m not quite sure it’s as black and white as he only sees it short term. It’s different to have a carpe diem attitude about things when you are dying with one week left to live, or you’re on vacation and have a lot to spend, but I don’t know if his character is reckless enough to be so unforgiving with my heart and his level of investment. Though perhaps it’s true and what is most confusing is that he truly does care about me and does love me, but it doesn’t translate to a livelong love. Perhaps that’s just the hardest ideal of all to let go of, because it’s forced down our throats. That if we don’t end up in holy matrimony with the people we date, that we have failed, and should feel ultimate rejection. But perhaps that just isn’t meant for me. Perhaps love can and does exist outside of that box, but he’s also wary to express it in fear of disappointing me by not being able to give me a life long love. I just don’t know anymore if that’s meant for everyone and if it’s meant for me.