“I have been thinking a lot about why he rejects the commitment, and I do agree that it seems to be a lack of self esteem on his part and the belief that perhaps if he lets me in that I will abandon/reject him.”

It’s because you’re not The One.

“I do wonder about his past and if he was ever cheated on. He still has not disclosed anything about prior relationships, but has opened up in other ways slightly.”

You’re not his shrink.  You don’t need to analyze his past to get him to love you.

“It’s strange. The way he has weaved himself into my life. The way he cares about insignificant things. ”

You’re obviously trying to interpret this as some “hidden” love he has for you but that you think he won’t admit. That’s wrong.  When a man loves a woman she doesn’t need to hyper-analyze his actions for hidden clues of love.  He simply tells her and shows it. 

“But I dare not ask questions. I still feel extremely connected to him and even more so after all of this time. The more I look back on our story, the more fated it seems. I remember how I felt before I even met him. I just saw his picture and I thought “that’s my one”.

This statement just shows that since you feel this way everything he does is incorrectly colored by your “fated to be together” interpretation.

““Lately he has been especially romantic, taking me on dates, taking time off of work for me”- one would think that it means that this is leading to a long-term relationship, but what if him being especially romantic etc., is possible for him because it is clear in his mind that this is a short-term relationship.”

Here you go again wanting to see romance in everything he does. You seem to lack a fundamental understanding that a man can be great IN THE MOMENT but still know deep down that he won’t marry you or you’re not ‘The One.’   I cannot stress enough that he very likely sees you as a placeholder (someone to enjoy) as he travels along in life waiting for “The One” or someone who knocks him off his feet.  Believe me, if he meets her, he’ll drop you and stop “Acting” like a boyfriend.

** IT DOES NOT MATTER IF A MAN IS ACTING LIKE A BOYFRIEND IF HE HAS NOT MADE YOU HIS GIRLFRIEND.  **   Titles and real commitment matter way more than acting like a boyfriend. 

“I also recently had a bit of a pregnancy scare, and he reacted rather well. He just said it would be my decision and he would support me. Now when my period is a bit late, he says “oh do we have one on the way”… He said the only thing that scares him about it, is that he doesn’t know how to talk to babies.”

OMG  – USE CONDOMS!!!  Do you really want to be having kids with men who are not committed to you?  That is really not wise.   Why does it matter what he thinks if he wouldn’t be the father?  Did you tell him about the “scare” to see if he would get jealous?  He obviously didn’t get jealous at all.  << ---- That's a sign he's not invested in you deeply.  He doesn't care if you sleep with other men or have kids with them.  I think you'll ignore this though.

” Something that is truly yours cannot be lost. If you need to hold on to it, you’re grasping and it will be manipulated into something that isn’t true”

But you just said you thought you were “FATED” to be together.  I think you pretend to be casual and cool about things not working out but really you’re hyper-attached and are going to hang on until he hits you in the face with a frying pan screaming “I don’t love you!!!!”   I think that’s the only way you’ll wake up and realize it’s never going to be a real committed relationship again.

I think you’ll reject this “Advice” and come back with another 20 examples of how he’s “acting like a boyfriend” and how “confused” you are and how you’ll psycho-analyze him until the end of time hoping he’ll wake up one day and declare his formal love for you.

It’s not going to happen and writing 3000 more words about it won’t change that.  Sorry.