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Chickadee33

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  • #368999
    Chickadee33
    Participant

    This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

    “Sorry if it is all over the place, but I hope someone can suggest me ways to deal with this crazy situation and advice me on how I can keep my sanity intact. I just want to live a peaceful life far away from them doing a job I like.”
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    Hate to say it but you’re not going to have peace until you move out.   You can’t change them now should you waste your energy trying.   I’m not going to write 15 paragraphs because it comes down to this:  You need to get away from them.

    Stop acting like you need to sneak around about leaving.  You’re a grown adult. Take responsibility for your situation and MOVE OUT. You don’t need to answer to them why, how or when?

    JUST DO IT.

    #368990
    Chickadee33
    Participant

    This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

    ” I recently consulted with a psychic that I have used for years and she basically reiterated all that we have discussed here, just by what she picked up on from his photo. She says he is not a bad guy, but he really does need to sort himself out and that I should not put all of my eggs in his basket. She feels that he is overly concerned with getting hurt or hurting me and he is not ready for a serious relationship. She was adamant that she sees him in my life and that I would know further about where I stand with him next summer.”
    ———————————————————————————-

    So you basically ignored everything she said except for the part where she said she sees him in your life.  Just ignore all the massive red flags.  <eye roll>

    p.s.  You need to see a therapist, not a psychic!!! You need to figure out why you attach so hard to emotionally unavailable people.   Maybe you have low self esteem?  You really shouldn’t date until you figure it out.

     

    #368989
    Chickadee33
    Participant

    This reply has been reported for inappropriate content.

    He’s told you over and over and over that you’re basically a placeholder until he finds someone he likes more.  If you had a shred of self-respect you would see the massive disrespect this is and move on.  You got demoted from relationship to hook-up and you’re STILL holding out hope he’ll realize you’re “The One.” Dear lord, your desperation to hold on is blinding you to the fact that this is over and he’s just using you because you’re there, willing and convenient.

    “. I am trying to sit with it and for the past few days I have only texted with him briefly and he is definitely not reaching out to me during this time.

    STOP REACHING OUT!  You’re chasing a person who doesn’t value you.

    “I have asked if he’d like to get together as friends at the end of the month or in September at some point. He has said maybe and we will see:”

    STOPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The “we’ll see” is a lack of interest and him trying to stonewall you but you’re too hooked to see that.  For Christ’s sake, stop chasing a man who has been SUPER obvious that he’s not into you anymore!

    “About a month ago, I did meet a guy at a coffee shop near me in town. I had the go ahead to date other men,”

    The “go ahead” from WHO??  From a guy that’s not even committed to you?  You cannot be serious.

    Honestly, I think you need to take a break from dating and get therapy or something because you clearly have attachment issues (Buddhism talk about attachment).

    ” I am now asking myself if he is someone I truly see myself with, as he is today. The answer to that will become more and more clear with time,”

    It’s VERY VERY clear now – but you’re so attached that you don’t see it. There’s no mystery here. A man who is into ACTS LIKE IT, you don’t have to wonder, wait or figure him out.  He may or may not be emotionally unavailable but he is unavailable to you.  He’s dropped GIGANTIC hints and even come out and said you have no place in his future and you still wonder.  You absolutely have not take the rose-colored glasses off.  When a man says NO, it means NO, not “I’m not sure.”

    but I know there are things that would be hard to come to terms with.”

    “Coming to terms with” someone who is wrong for you means you’re settling and it won’t last.

    “How do you build a romantic connection when one person refuses to connect emotionally.”

    You can’t. You don’t. You have to grow up and realize that this is the end. There’s no building, or “Figuring it out.” It’s OVER.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)