Dear talia:

Good to have you back here. Yes, it was a typo. You shared most recently that you have “an enmeshed connection… a deep emotional attachment” to this man (let’s refer to him as M), that you can’t imagine your life without him, and that “it is also terrifying to not rely on him as much. It feels like abandonment”.

You wrote: “My instinct is to completely disregard the past. To deny my own reality… the reality of emotional enmeshment combined with my origin story”.

Since Nov 2018, you shared very little about your origin story, if by origin, you mean childhood: “my situation at home: molestation, emotional abandonment, financial insecurity, and emotionally vacant parents”.

You shared a whole lot about your story/ relationship with M: you were best friends since 7th grade, started dating in high school, and lived together for over a year. He proposed to you and you accepted. But the second year of the relationship was “pretty rocky.. intensely arguing every day.. he was depressed… he was very wishy-washy. One day he’d be planning a future with me, the next day would be a series of ‘I don’t know’s. He was very closed off to me emotionally and physically… The intense arguing.. spiraling wildly out of control.. slammed doors, silent treatment, manipulation, and awful communication…. I always felt powerless and trapped”.

You mentioned before this thread that your relationship history consisted on only one relationship, and that was your relationship with M. In this thread, you shared that you have a significant other (who is not this man). I am wondering, are you still in a relationship with the significant other, and if so, how is the connection/ relationship with her?

Also, if you want to, can you share a bit more about your childhood? I ask these questions because I want to understand better your enmeshment and attachment to M.

anita