Dear Anita,

“– was she a bit like your father: nice and lenient with everyone else, but rude and strict with his wife and child, sometimes very sweet, at other times the complete opposite?”  – Yes, that is completely true. I have often thought about them being similar. You have described my father perfectly. I would say though, that I consider my mother to be very strong. She sacrificed her whole life for her children and defended us from our father. When my father was at his worst regarding his behavior towards her, she could not or actually did not leave him because he threatened to kill her and himself and all of us. That is what I mean by saying she sacrificed her life for us – she stayed with him so that we (their children) could stay safe. I would do the same in her situation because I, too, would be afraid he would actually hurt someone. Things have calmed down over the years, but he is still controlling at home and very sweet to other people. I just never thought a high school girl could also be as mean and narcissistic to such a high level and I never knew how to deal with a person like that.