Dear Janet:

I am glad to learn, following your most recent post, that (1) your mother did not tell you that she sacrificed her life for her children, that (2) your mother, you/ siblings did stand up to your father, telling him that his behavior was not  okay, and that (3) your father has shown regret, has been trying to improve, and has indeed calmed down in the last few years.

And I understand that in your country, escaping an abusive husband/ father is very difficult, if not impossible, and therefor it was not a possible choice for your mother at the time when your father threatened physical violence.

You expressed in your most recent post that after you told your school bully that her behavior was not okay with you, not only did she not try to change her (mis)behavior- she tried instead to hurt you even more, basking in your misery.

It seems like this bully is sadistic, that she is enjoying inflicting pain on others who she perceives to be weaker than her… it is so sad and scary, to think that she may become a mother and perhaps sadistically hurt her own children, who are naturally weak and dependent. It is scary to know that there are sadistic people in the world, although a very small percentage of the world population.

If this is the case, in first grade and all through primary school, there was absolutely nothing  you could have done to make her stop bullying you. Some adult had to intervene for you, an adult she perceived as someone strong enough to hurt her. Am I understanding correctly?

anita