Dear Nar:

You shared that you that you “care really a lot and get deeply involved” with the few friends you have, and you “struggle to build sustainable friendships with people”.

You met a girl on a retreat, a woman “without a proper structure to her conversations… full of contradictions and conflicts.. delusional… says one thing but does something else”, etc.. You’ve been communicating with her for three months, and the result: “Clearly she is impacting me very negatively and has been impacting me negatively for 3 months now.. got too involved.. can’t talk to her.. she wouldn’t understand my point.. I tried to bring it up  once or twice, she just became very angry and attacked me”.

“I want to understand what happened, learned and move on”.

My input,  with more quotes: “maybe I just got involved with the wrong/ very unstable person”- yes, clearly. I hope that you end contact with her as soon as possible.

“I want to open my heart  and mind more, slowly bring down the walls I built around myself”- not with her, not with a person who attacks you, and whose words and behaviors are acutely distressing.

What about people who are reasonable and who do not attack you, the few friends you mentioned perhaps- didn’t you adequately open your heart and mind to them?

anita