1. S. I wrote the account above fresh after the meeting. Then, as I normally do, set it aside for some time.

Something was nagging me all along. Is if I was missing something. Overlooking something staring right into my face. Something I didn’t quite like.

And then it hit me.

All this time, I thought him to be tormented between his sudden infatuation and its dissolution, his past with his wife, his kids, house and life as he knew, all his neighbours and friends (He told me that his male friends asked him whether he couldn’t make an effort to patch up with his wife), also his beliefs. He used to go regularly to church with his wife.

He repeated yesterday three or four times that he had pulled away because he didn’t see a future with me (or something like this – as said, the exact wording he used escapes me).

It dawned on me that he was actually actively and cold-bloodedly looking – not even for a temporary escape – but for another partner. While still being married. And all this time he KNEW that his marriage was finished. For him.

Not so decent, huh? If he had known that he would divorce no matter what, he should have divorced first.

What he did was typical of many men though – looking to open a new account so to speak not having closed the old one.

And one more thing in this story was not to my liking.

So he knew that his marriage was over. For him. He was already in a blooming interaction with me. He decides I am not the one. And right after that, he is with his wife again.

He may have given in to her and his friends’ requests to try again – I get that.

Or he may have decided to give in to them BECAUSE I was not the one – I get that too.

Either way, it doesn’t look good given that he KNEW his marriage is over.

Not good towards his wife, not good towards me.

I think it is this realisation (combined with him repeating it three or four times as a matter of course) that made me say that he hasn’t changed. Probably. Who knows for real?…

Good riddance you say?