Dear anita,

hm, the accountability thread is more than one month old. Often I don’t get so much done. I wish that I would take the goals I set for myself more seriously. But the good thing is, my mood has improved a lot since the beginning of the thread. Now I am ruminating less, feeling less like a horrible person… The anxiety feeling has lessened on most days and I am back to my normal self again, feeling calmer. Also, I finished project A, something I wasn’t able to do for a long time. Project B is also almost done. Only 10 pages left. The next step is to become more active, to take me and my plans seriously. I can do it at work, so why not with the projects that matter most to my heart?

Oh, I can understand about the cougar being scary! We had a house cat and cats are quite unpredictable. Meeting a cougar in the wild is sure something I would like to avoid, the same for bears. Well, here they don’t exist anyways. Yesterday I googled dangerous animals in Germany and there are a few. We have a fish, snakes, and jellyfish that are poisonous, but most of the time these animals are too shy and you seldomly encounter them. And I hadn’t even heard of the fish.

Today I have finished one of my drawings for project B and there is not too much left to paint! I am very happy with the project and will be proud when I finish it. I am slow as a snail, but at least I am finishing the things I started. That’s something, right? Maybe with time, I can become better.

Also, I went to therapy and it was o.K. I will miss my therapist when therapy is over! For the goodbye, I plan to gift her a portrait of her.

Tomorrow is my workday. But after work, I still want to work more at home, so best to work on project B.

About being offline: yes, it is very good for me. I want to become more grounded in the real world, instead of distracting myself. It makes me feel so much better. When it is possible, I would like to find more human connections in the real world and live more fully than before. Now I have learnt that people who like me do exist and that I am o.K.

Have a good day and until tomorrow.