Hi Anita. Sorry for the late response. I’ve been interviewing and studying non-stop. Suuuuper exhausted. Stayed up until 6 am yesterday (today) because I put the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle together and I finally saw the image that was missing. And all I had to do was lose all hope. From the “Peaceful Warrior”. “Where are you, Dan? I am here. When are you, Dan? I am now”. So I am and I am.

I had a breakthrough last night. I’ve been meditating a lot lately and had a few moments of enlightenment’ish realizations. I know what I want. I know exactly what I want generally speaking. I know what I need to do. How long it might take and all that. I am letting go of everything, accepting my life, the world, and everyone else as it exists, and I am content. I am tired, yes, very tired, but it’s OK. There are people who have it much worse. The ONLY thing that still bothers me through all my actualization, realization, etc., is my aloneness. It has been with me since the beginning of time. We are all alone, I get it, born alone and die alone, but most of us have someone. We have partners, kids, close friends, siblings. I have a family, but they are the Kardashians and they don’t understand my reality. My friends are amazing, but they have their own lives and their own families. I am left alone and so far that’s the only thing I have no been able to shake. I can work on putting the pieces back together and realizing my potential, and I will do it no matter what, but this being single and alone is terrible. I am not bored or lonely, I am just alone. I’ll continue working on that as well. I know we can be happy as is, but that’s the one thing I have not been able to defy. I crave physical and emotional connection to the point where it makes me psychologically and physically ill.