Dear kitty:

You shared that you met Sid four years ago in school. He was shy. One day a guy at the back bullied him and you took a stand for Sid, gave the bully “a savage reply” that rendered him speechless and made Sid laugh. It was only when you and Sid were to move to different cities, that Sid and you confessed/ proposed and a long-distance relationship ensued, the “first serious relationship for us.. No dates, no movie nights, no hanging out, no holding hands, no hugs”. The two of you did engage in “virtually fantasizing about each other and sexting”.

After 1.5 years of LD relationship, the two of you lived again in the same city for nine months, but saw each other only once or twice because your respective parents are strict and do not allow dating. Eventually you broke up. Sometimes you are okay with the two of you being buddies, but at other times, you “crave him.. emotionally and sexually”.

There is another guy that you currently like very much, Jake. He is “awesome.. great.. down to earth and understanding”, and the two of you expressed your interest in each other. You are confused about whether what Jake told you was rude or not.

You don’t know whether to choose Sid (“it’ll still be long distance”), or Jake. I can ask you a few questions that may help you to feel less confused and more clear. If you choose to answer me, please keep the answers as short and as factual as possible.

1) Approximately, how old are you, Sid and Jake?

2) Do the three of you live with your respective parents?

3) What are Sid’s plans for his future, Jake’s plans, your plans?

4) For how long will Sid be long-distance from you, if you renewed the relationship with him?

5) Will Jake’s parents allow him to date you, to go on movie nights etc., and hang out?

6) When you wrote regarding Sid: “There were many complications and problems between us. It was also getting a little toxic”- what were the complications, problems and what was toxic?

7) What did Jake say that might have been rude?

anita