TeaK I think you make a very good point. In the very least, my mom was not able to accept me on a bodily level from the time I was a baby. When I have watched her hold or interact other people’s babies, I feel like I can sense her nervousness and discomfort. She seems very unnatural with a baby, like she has not ever been a mother before. So I assume it would’ve been the same when I was a baby… I was a icky and unpredictable object to her. I also think you are right the connection to my fear of vomiting.