Dear Pavel:

I am glad to read that you will be attending rehab in a month.

In your original post you asked: “Please, just tell me this is a normal thing to experience”

You described the following as what you experienced: “I fell in love.. I crashed… I am lost. Can not sleep because of this person.. we ‘officially me’ at the end of February.. we were on drugs, Methamphetamine… He started a fire, massive explosion of emotions… I quit my job, slowly losing my apartment, my cat, my friends. Only because one person. This is definitely not healthy type of relationship”-

– my answer to your original question, if all this is a normal thing to experience, is: no. It was not normal, and your experience was not “because one person”, Lukas, whose part in your life was very, very short, less than a month.

Your experience was because of Methamphetamine use. Methamphetamine is often used recreationally for its effects as a potent euphoriant and aphrodisiac qualities. What you experienced with Lukas was a result of drug-induced euphoria (pleasure, excitement, intense feelings of well-being), and drug-induced aphrodisiac qualities (increased sexual desire, pleasure, and behavior).

There is a subculture known as “party and play” which is based around sexual activity and methamphetamine use, prevalent, so I read, between men in major US cities. One of the problems of this practice is that after the long sexual encounters, the men crash (it fits with your description: “I fell in love.. I crashed”). The crash following the use of methamphetamine is very often severe and includes insomnia (trouble falling and/ or staying asleep) and hypersomnia (excessive daytime sleepiness).

This fits with what you wrote: “Can’t sleep”, and it is likely the reason why you lost your apartment, quit your job, etc.

It’s not that you “Can’t sleep because of him”, but that you can’t sleep because of your use of methamphetamine. It’s not a “Spiritual connection beyond generations”- it is the euphoric, stimulant and aphrodisiac effects of a potent and harmful drug.

I wish you a successful withdrawal from this drug, and appropriate treatment for what troubles you otherwise.

anita