Dear Ilyana,

regarding your son, you say that you’re still trying to deal with the trauma around his birth, which actually deepened your depression. Did I understand well that before your son was born, you sometimes had manic episodes too (you were diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 26), but, since you gave birth to your son, at 35, you’ve mostly experienced depression and the manic episodes are gone?

If you haven’t managed to heal the trauma surrounding your son’s birth, does it mean you’re blaming him, at least in part, for almost causing you to die? Is there some resentment in you towards your son?