Hi Carly,

Wow, parents who underestimate your achievements – how familiar.

First, no matter how hard you’d tried to find compassion in them, that wouldn’t work out. They even accused the priest gave you the “wrong” advice. So, they think there’s no other point of view than their “right” one. That happens because parents are afraid to admit mistakes they made when you first asked for help. Imagine a situation when person A tells person B what to do but then realizes those actions lead to a collapse. Person A had better say sorry and help person B to get out of this. But that could have been seen as a defeat (even if we all know this is not). So, person A chooses to turn it into a giant snowball of wrong pieces of advice. Now both person A and person B need to get qualified therapy. But you’re not a therapist, so you can’t help your parents to admit their wrongs. That’s the truth you need to learn to live with.

Your parents seem to be those people who consider having a husband as the only purpose in life. Could you tell us more about the family model you saw when you were a child?

And to your thread topic: you didn’t ruin your life. Your marriage wasn’t a mistake. You did what you did. Yes, this now seems like an insoluble problem. The thing is, the only insoluble problem is death. Immortality is impossible. All the rest has the resolution. You just take your time to find it. Care for your health, pick up the pieces, and start from there. Maybe there are some centers for women in difficult situations near you.