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Maria

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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #379319
    Maria
    Participant

    Hi, miaim,

    Well, my story’s here. I thought I wanted to be a teacher right from my childhood. I also wanted to be a vet. But thanks to my rationality, I decided not to go for it. 😀 Not only that, but I had a passion for English, so my mother and I thought it would be great to become an English teacher. I have a degree. Yes, I can be a teacher at any time, as in Russia, there is always a career opportunity for that. And I worked as a teacher. That was not that bad, actually. But what I felt was that inner feeling of doing something wrong. That’s when I understood that being a teacher was not MY dream but my mother’s. I know she tried to do the right thing for me.

    Now my career is still connected to English but not to teaching. And I still hear my mom saying that “I’m in the wrong business.” Good thing I live far from her. And my job gives me enough money for living. But what’s important is it also gives me joy. Finally, I do what I like. I can’t call it “living the dream.” But I find it good enough to feel comfortable.

    #378957
    Maria
    Participant

    Hi Priscilla,

    I know it’s a bit late to discuss your topic. But I couldn’t find my passion too. Well, I still can’t. I didn’t even have a proper hobby. All I had was my job which was good but not really satisfying. The thing is it stopped bothering me after my therapist asked me to write some kind of autobiography. It was hard for me to talk about myself on the consultation, so I decided to give it a shot.

    I had to Google some tips on how to write it because I didn’t have any writing skills. I remembered all similar school essays “About myself” and it gave me creeps. 😀 So, I went with this one as it was one of the briefest, but you can use any other source you find.

    Then I started writing. It took me almost a month to finish it. I always struggled the feeling I had nothing to write. Every time I tried to start a new part, I was confused. So, I spent several days thinking about every point and making notes when I remembered something worthy.

    Finally, I collected all my notes and combined them in a single long text. What I realized was I had lots of hobbies and activities that were still interesting for me. That’s when I realized I just didn’t have time for them. I understood that I didn’t even read a book for two years! But I love it!

    So, now I read a lot again. Yes, I can’t call it a passion, and it doesn’t fully cover my expectations. But I started with a small step, and it helps me to believe I’ll find anything else later. I sometimes re-read my “autobiography.” And now I plan both money and time to spend them on activities I like. For example, I also started donating some money to an animal shelter. It encourages me and makes me truly happy.

    I hope you’ll find your passion. <3

    #378851
    Maria
    Participant

    Tiny,
    I’m very close with this tiny voice telling me, “he’s a cheater, so CHECKALLHISMESSAGESANDPHOTOS.” That never led to any evidence, though. 😀 I’m not sure if this is good advice, but that helped me a lot.
    First, I talked to my then-boyfriend (now husband) that if one of us ever feels love towards any other person, he must tell about that. Because for me, being kept in the dark is worse than being cheated.

    Then, I just went with the motto, “If the person chooses someone over me, this person doesn’t deserve me.” Yes, this is hard to accept. I always prepare for the worst. But I don’t feel anxious about it because it won’t make me bad – it would make HIM bad.

    And finally, when a panic attack comes in, I think like, “well-well, what do we have here – let the show begin.” It won’t kill me in any way, and it won’t even injure me somehow. So, if my brain wants to “have a party,” I’m in. Yes, I will feel not well. Yes, my day may go sideways. But it’s sometimes cool to have a bit of spontaneity in my life.

    As the bottom line, I want to say that you’re amazing because you decided to consult a professional. I’m sending you a bacon of goodness and support. <3

    #378849
    Maria
    Participant

    Hi Ashmitha,

    Well, I don’t think there is a particular amount of time that applies to everyone. From my experience, my two past relationships were full of resentment because I couldn’t understand my exes not texting me each time they had free time. I was like “what do you mean you’re busy with your FRIENDS, don’t you want to spend all your free time with me?” That was horrible. 😀 But I was young and not really clever. Now I see, it was because I considered my romantic relationships are above friendship. And I don’t say it’s wrong. The problem was my partners thought about it differently. It took me a lot of time to realize that not only my BF wants some kind of respite, but I also need it sometimes.

    So, here’s my opinion: as we’re all grown-up people with interests that don’t always correspond to other people’s interests, it’s absolutely normal to not connect all the time. That doesn’t make our love weaker. It gives us some new experience to discuss with our partner. We must respect other people’s personal boundaries, discuss any inconvenience, and act so as we’re both comfortable.

    #378803
    Maria
    Participant

    Dear TeaK and Anita,

    About my perfect life – it’s not perfect, of course. But it’s improved since the last year as I started caring a bit more about myself. Teak, as you suggested, I might have something which I can’t solve. So, yesterday I found a therapist and had the first consultation. And surprisingly, it went great! I was afraid at first that we wouldn’t get along. But no, she’s the most understanding woman I ever met. 😀

    Anita, yes, B12 will be the first supplement I’ll buy. I had a tinnitus checkup, and everything was okay. I found some physical therapy exercises and asked my husband for a massage. After that, I finally slept like a baby. My next steps will be some meditation sessions and a neck checkup.

    Thank you both for the advice. I appreciate it a lot!

    Maria

    #377823
    Maria
    Participant

    Hi Marisa,

    I’m new here, and I’m not competent enough to give you worthwhile advice. But I want to say the only thing regarding your thread title: THIS IS NOT WRONG. I’m from Russia, and women there are often told to raise the child in a nuclear family. It’s considered “wrong” to live without a husband. But what’s really wrong is your child seeing the disrespectful father humiliating his wife’s feelings.

    You’re the only person who can answer your question. And there is no “right” or “wrong” decision. Just go for your heart. I think it always leads the right way.

    Mary

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)