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Less of confident due to losing virginity

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  • #379165
    blue
    Participant

    Anyone can help me to get over feeling of less of confidence to begin new relationship as I have lost my virginity with my ex. I am 38. I broke up one month ago, My ex relationship last for 4 months and its was my first time to have sex ass I wanna to have baby. The relationship ended because my parents do not agree because my ex economic condition so bad to be a good husband for me. I am thankful

    #379180
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blue:

    If I understand correctly, you are a 38 year old woman living with your parents. You had a 4-month relationship with a man whom your parents disapprove of. You lost your virginity to that man and you are feeling less confident about having a new relationship (that will lead to marriage and children) because you are no longer a virgin.

    You were a virgin for 38 years: what were the reasons for you not getting marriage in all the years of your adulthood while being a virgin?

    anita

    #379195
    blue
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I was not really pretty, just so so ok; i focus on work in the office, earning money and taking care of my parents, and i am  a home girl so that time goes by and i did not get to know any guys. Singe men at my age all have got married and have children. Recently a miss-matcher introduced me to this guy, but his economic condition so bad; if i marry him i would be the breadwinner, which is why my parents disapproved. Now some friends introduce me to new guys, but i feel i am not confident enough because of virginity. Thanks a lot for your consultation

    #379196
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blue:

    You are welcome. I know of traditional societies, such as in India- often, a grown, married son lives with his parents, wife and children, and a grown, married daughter lives with her husband and and his parents. I wonder if you have a brother or brothers, or other sisters, or if you are an only child and therefore your parents rely on you only for financial support?

    anita

    #379202
    blue
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    My family have three children, my older brother and younger sister,, all is single, my family is ok with finance, i dont have to support my parents, i live in the countryside

    #379203
    blue
    Participant

    I earn money ok for a single life, but my family worried i will live in hell marrying that guy

    #379207
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blue:

    You wrote that you feel less confident about starting a new relationship because you are not a virgin anymore. You also wrote that you are “not really pretty”, another reason for not having been confident before, correct?

    Imagine you meeting a good man who wants a peaceful life in the countryside, a man who will be so very happy to find you, a good, honest woman (I imagine) who lives in the countryside and wants a peaceful life with him. Imagine this man thinking that you are beautiful!

    I think that this man will understand that at 38 you lost your virginity because you were anxious to get pregnant, feeling that you were running out of time. A good man will understand.

    *I will be back to the computer in a couple of hours.

    anita

     

    #379217
    blue
    Participant

    Dear Tanita,

    I feel so gratitude for your time and kindness in helping me. I feel better with youe sweet consultation. You really understanding and attentive and helpful. Thanks and I wish you health and prosperity to help more people. Thank you

    #379219
    anita
    Participant

    Dear blue:

    You are very welcome. Thank you for your kind words of appreciation. Please post anytime you want to express yourself and I will be glad to read from you, and reply. I wish you the best!

    anita

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