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What is the easiest way to let go of rejection

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  • #374557
    Rebecca
    Participant

    I recently suffered rejection of a client caused by a huge mistake I made.  I acknowledge the mistake but I have worked so hard for this client and it is difficult to stop thinking about it and to let it go.  It is something that I cannot change.  It is what it is. I just want my thoughts about it to be in the past and not to have it crop up again in the background when I am trying to concentrate on something else.  Suddenly I am trying to justify the past and not thinking about the now.

    #374584
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rebecca:

    I would like to reply to you more at length when I am back to the computer in about 14 hours from now. If you would like to, can you share some of your earliest- life experience with making mistakes and the consequences of those mistakes?

    anita

    #374604
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Rebecca:

    In your original post you shared that you made “a huge mistake” with a client you worked so hard for, a mistake that you cannot undo, the client rejected you, and it is difficult for you to let it go of his/her rejection.

    In a reply to another member, you mentioned The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz. The third is “Don’t Make Assumptions, Find the courage to ask questions.. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings.. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life”-

    – following the third agreement I ask: (1) what is the nature of the huge mistake you made? (2) what is the nature of the rejection and other practical consequences of this huge mistake?

    anita

    #374967
    wnishin
    Participant

    In leading a team, or being a part of one I look to finding the gift within then occurrence, what have I learned? And how can I rebuild the process or future customer relationship in such a way that because the occurrence happened, we as a team or leader of a team, or organization are ultimately better because the event happened.

    I once had a boss ask if I was afraid of him, early on, it was in a new leadership role and I remember telling him that I will be harder on myself than he could ever be. I also learned that being optimistic is a weapon that is hard to defuse, and whenever a system is under strain you start to see the fracture, it’s like lowering a river you start seeing the rocks and fish for the first time. Keep alert to what the surroundings are telling you.

    We are all humans, and the bigger the project or role, the bigger the stress and potential to displease others, and sometimes even ourselves.

    There has been times that I’ve felt strain at work, but I’ve always found my strength in my team, and sometimes on my drive to work I make a fist when I doubt myself and I hold my head high because people look to me for answers and at the end of the day all I can do is attempt to bring my best self.

    My releases outside of work are listening to music, spending time with my kids, making my wife laugh or when it’s not winter riding a Harley just to smell the grass as it’s freshly cut and counting the big red barns that are getting harder to find across the country side. I know to keep these things in my life I’m going to have to fight, and I tend to look at the brighter side of life.

    It wasn’t always that way, I was raised by two very strong women, and my father was a horny tax accountant that wandered to close to the Indian Reservation. My stories growing up with him are few because of the aforementioned women (mother and grandmother) kept me safe, and we didn’t see eye to eye but there was a time I’d be so nervous around him I couldn’t even tie my shoes, in fact one time as we were heading to church (it’s ironic he was heading to church of all places and I’ll never forget this), that he kept slapping me because I couldn’t tie my shoes, and I sat in a chair while he loaded up his new family and went to church. It wasn’t that I couldn’t tie my shoes at eight years of age, it was I gave him way too much concern, more than he ever deserved. I forgave him you know; it was this great weight off my shoulders.

    I’m sharing this for a reason, I know it can be hard, I’ve had those moments too, but everyday is a fight to be at our best selves and no project, no person or task should ever slow us down (or keep us from tying our shoes).

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