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Finding your true passion

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  • #374315
    Priscilla
    Participant

    So I am here to hopefully get some guidance or at least some suggestions as to how I can find what I am truly passionate about? How do you know what sings true to your soul and brings you a deep sense of fulfillment? Is it just a mindset or is is really finding that thing or things that really light you up from the inside? I have tried to find what lights my fire but feel like nothing really does it for me, what am I doing wrong? Am I just not putting enough effort or energy? Is my approach or mindset not right? I feel lost and confused. I have read so many posts of people saying do what made you happy when you were a child since you had no cares but I feel like my interests have shifted so drastically over the years that those things that did make me happy as a  child wouldnt have the same appeal to me now as an adult. I have a great job where I work with wonderful people and feel valued as an employee but I still feel a void. The work I do isnt making any impact in the world, I work in corporate america so it’s all about making money. I constantly battle my own thoughts of how I could or should be spending my time and energy. Should I just accept making a steady paycheck so I can live comfortably but still feel empty? Or should I be doing work that’s rewarding and fulfilling to my soul..which doesn’t always equal a decent living, unfortunately. I feel torn and feel like I am capable of so much more and want to make a difference in the world in some way but I feel like I dont know where to begin? Can anyone relate..??

    #374320
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Priscilla:

    “I.. feel a void.. like I am capable of so much more and want to make a difference in the world in some way but I feel like I don’t know where to begin?”-

    If you want to, you can answer the following two questions, and after we communicate for a while, maybe you will figure out where to begin:

    1. While growing up, were your parents content with their lives and were they content with you being in their lives?

    2. If your parents were not content, were you able to make a difference in their lives, and if so, what difference did you make?

    anita

    #374324
    Priscilla
    Participant

    Hi Anita,
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Thanks for the reply! To answer your questions, NO, my parents were not content with their lives and especially not each other. I would believe that as “parents” they were both content with having children, I am one of three. My parents always showed us love, my mom was the nurturer and my dad was the hard worker. They both worked full time jobs but my dad also worked a part time job at night and on the weekends so we never really spent much time with him. As far as making a difference in their lives, I’m not really sure how to answer that? I would have to say my mom really enjoyed being a mom but my dad was always working so I’m not sure what his view was.</p>

    #374326
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Priscilla:

    You are welcome. As a child it was your mother that was at home with you much of the time, being “the nurturer”, while your father worked many hours outside the home. Let’s focus on your mother then: you wrote that she was not content with her life and that she was not content with her husband (your father).

    Do you remember being a child and noticing that she was not content, feeling bad about her not being content or happy?

    If you do, do you remember the ways you tried to make her content/ happy?

    anita

    #374332
    Priscilla
    Participant

    Yes I remember her being unhappy most of the time. She suffered from multiple mental health issues and she didnt know how to manage her symptoms. As a child I thought that was normal, I didnt know any better. But as I grew up I realized that she was in a lot of emotional pain for most of life. Yes, of course I felt bad for her bc I k we she was suffering. I didnt know how to help her or show her that it was ok to be happy, I was clueless. I would try to spend alot of time with her just she knew someone was there who cared. I’m not really sure it made much of a difference since all I could do was provide a warm body. I couldnt help her talk thru any of her issues or sort out anything she was thinking. She did have her moments where she would talk about the dark thoughts in her head but all I could do was listen. She did have happy times as well, not all was dark and depressive but she didnt know how to make peace with her demons. I always felt responsible for her well being even into adulthood.

    #374333
    Peter
    Participant

    Hi Priscilla

    What is Passion? How do we know it when we have it?  Is it possible to passionate about your job, relationship, hobby….  one moment and the next not so much? Yes? Why are some people better at being/showing passion then others. Is Passion a emotion, frame of mind, or way of being?

    I’ll be frank.  I very much dislike the whole Passion -Purpose movement. Even the most Passionate purpose driven people I know feel like their faking it. Some terrified that if they look to deep they won’t like what they see. Who am I if its not what I do and can’t do that with “Passion”?  Oh the suffering we create for ourselves in  this search of validated measurement passion.

    The problem I think is that humans are terrible at measuring things like Passion and Purpose.   How often do we measure and label something  like passion and happiness where the act of measuring makes it disappear. Sadly the same is not the same for measuring things like sadness or anger were the act of measuring tends to feed the experience.  That might suggest, as you hint at, that Passion is more of a mind set, a way of Being more so then a doing.

    A parable about the three bricklayers. A traveler came upon three men working. He asked the first man what he was doing and the man said he was laying bricks. He asked the second man the same question and he said he was putting up a wall. When he got to the third man and asked him what he was doing he said he was building a cathedral.

    Three people doing the same thing the only difference was perspective, the big picture verses the small.  But Have we made a assumptions as it might concern purpose and passion? Latter on in the story we learn that the first man was very passionate about laying bricks. A man who was passion focused on the details and art of his task.  Who is to say which man had the most or “better” passion or purpose?

    I have a great job where I work with wonderful people and feel valued as an employee but I still feel a void. The work I do isnt making any impact in the world

    There are 7.7 billion people in the world. How do we measure which ones make more or less a impact on the ‘world’?

    If a “flap of a butterfly wings” impacts the weather (all things are connected) everything we do matters and has purpose that we can be intentional and passionate about.

    Enjoying your work with  people that you value and that value you, creating the conditions that you get to encourage, support and grow… in is huge!.  The Love and care you share with others as you do what you do, that has impact! Could that be your passion?

     

    #374336
    Priscilla
    Participant

    HI Peter..wow.. and Thank you! That was an amazing and powerful reply..!! That really does shed a different perspective which I can genuinely appreciate..!! Thank you!! Your absolutely right bc passion is so unique to each individual and there really is no true measure. I guess it’s more of doing what feels good to you and what allows you to be happy, whatevwe that may be… that’s all is really boils down to. I suppose there isnt really a right or wrong answer…and I agree it is based on perspective. Sometimes you just need to hear something like this to be reminded…I just get stuck in my head so often that I have trouble seeing how fortunate I really am. I’m naturally an over thinker so I tend to create issues that dont even exist. Thank you for bringing me back to reality and reminding me how important gratitude is. Your right, I dont have to fit in with the crowd or look for acknowledgement of making a difference. I’m sure I am in some way, even if its minimal and even if that means I dont receive praise or recognition. I suppose that’s ego or pride..?? I have to remind myself to be content and thankful for ll that I am and have around me.

    #374337
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Priscilla:

    The title of your thread is “Finding your true passion“. In your original post you wrote: “I have tried to find what lights my fire“-

    – It is natural for any young child, seeing her mother suffering, to feel a lot of empathy for her mother and to want to do anything and everything it takes to make her mother happy. It is a child’s first passion when her mother is unhappy.

    I think that your original “true passion” (what would have light your fire as a child)- was to take away your mother’s suffering and to make her happy.  If all you could do was to “spend a lot of time with her”- that’s what you did. But if there was a tall, difficult mountain to climb to make her happy, you would have climbed that mountain.

    Question is: did you give up on that original passion?

    * I will be away from the computer for a while.

    anita

     

    #374367
    Peggy
    Participant

    Hello Priscilla,

    By necessity our world revolves around money.  We exchange our ‘work’ and our ‘energy’ for an agreed sum of money which we then use to buy ourselves a comfortable life – food, shelter, warmth, clothing and so on.  Your working life has a lot of positives but still leaves you with a void and you feel that something is missing, that you are capable of more.  There are so many ways in which you could make a difference, all valid, so many worthwhile causes but which ones appeal to you.  It all needs narrowing down.  Children?  Adults?  Homeless?  Mental health issues?  Physical challenges?  Racial issues?  Prison population?  What qualities can you bring?   Music skills / art skills/ counselling skills/teaching skills/nursing skills/communication skills.  Perhaps you can spare a few hours a week as a volunteer?  Do any of these suggestions resonate with you?  There is often paid work available within charitable organisations.

    I hope you find your heart’s desire soon.

    Best Wishes

    Peggy

     

     

     

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