Dear Linarra:

I acted as I didn’t exist or mattered during most of my life, to a point I myself have difficulty identifying my needs/wants. Sometimes I have a hard time even feeling real. I guess I have been successful in shutting myself down.. . Most of my friends…  just accept me like that.. yet it doesn’t really feel like a good acceptance either. I don’t know if they are even aware of why I’m so quiet, or if they care enough to get to know me… If you have any kind of advice or guidance to provide or experience to share, I would gladly read it”-

– I shut down too, I too acted as if I didn’t exist or mattered most of my life. One time, I was a teenager and I was with my mother visiting her brother (my uncle). I was quiet as usual, because I knew that if I said the wrong thing in front of my uncle/ anyone- I’d be in trouble with her. What happened next, on that one occasion, was that my uncle asked me questions, questions about me, about what I thought, what I wanted- to be asked about me never happened before, no one tried to get to know my thoughts and feelings before, not in a positive, inviting kind of way. It felt so.. refreshingly new, like I was alive..  like I was a withering plant and someone poured some water on it. (I wasn’t able to answer him because my mother was sitting right there).

What if I asked you questions, like my uncle asked me, would you like me to do so?

anita