Hi Felix,

thanks for your kind words regarding my health. I hope your asthma will get better too.

I have this mental thought and I am pretty sure it’s an accurate representation of reality, is that until I am super fit physically (and emotionally), have a house, and can show a woman that I can be a good father, I have NO chance.

This mental thought is a reflection of your experience with your mother. Unless you’re materially well-off (owning a house is a pretty high standard!), you believe you’ll be unattractive and invisible to women. Your experience with your ex wife was different, you said she wasn’t materialistic, however the early imprint is still active in your subconscious and is running your life.

I know that’s not always the case, but I am going based on the last few years of my life. I am invisible to local women.

Our subconscious beliefs are like a magnet. They attract what we believe is true. If you strongly believe you aren’t rich enough to find a woman, it will become your reality. For example, you’ll look in wrong places, you’ll be attracted to a wrong kind of women (materialistic ones) and won’t notice a different type, you’ll mingle in the wrong neighborhood, you’ll give away a vibe that will repel women etc etc. All those are ways how we create our reality based on a subconscious false belief.

But this relationship problem, I truly feel it will break me. Not being overly dramatic or anything like that. I truly feel like I will lose my mind being this lonesome.

I know you’re not exaggerating. Being in a relationship, having a loving, caring connection with someone is a basic human need. But there is a trick there: if we don’t love ourselves, if we believe we are unlovable (because we for example aren’t rich enough), no amount of outside love will satisfy us. We’ll still believe we are unlovable, and we’ll sabotage even the best relationship. This might have happened to you earlier, perhaps, with your wife?

In any case, the place to start when looking for love is within. You need to love yourself first, so you can be ready for a healthy relationship. Otherwise you’ll blow it. Can you see that?