Dear Anita,

Just the moment before… I was in my bed, relaxed, sleeping. Until I heard the monster’s voice coming nearby. She was talking on the phone, going towards my room. I jumped from my sleep and managed to make her understand she had to back off with signs. Thankfully she listened and left me alone. But I’m not relaxed anymore.

My progresses aren’t good enough. Even if I’m able to calm myself down, it’s still feeling unsafe. It will be for as long as I live with her, for as long she’s in my life…

She terrorized me from phone calls, terrorized me from driving, terrorized me from people, she made me feel like I couldn’t do anything. She hurt me so bad, and I didn’t protect myself well enough. I don’t know how I can still let it happen. I don’t know how I can manage to save myself when my energy and power is crushed down and reduced into pieces everytime I’m trying to heal just enough so I can have what it takes to leave. She always ruins anything that is good.

I don’t know what I’m digging… A hole in my prison, or my own grave. I don’t know.

I hope I’ll be able to come up with something…

Linarra