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Reply To: How can seek comfort in loss? How can I trust myself and my intuition? 

HomeForumsRelationshipsHow can seek comfort in loss? How can I trust myself and my intuition? Reply To: How can seek comfort in loss? How can I trust myself and my intuition? 

#386084
Micky
Participant

I don’t think you were wrong to confront an issue that had been bothering you in your relationship.

It’s hard to breakup with someone that you want to be with.

I think your doubting yourself because you don’t want to be the one to say goodbye. The “loss” can feel worse if you think you’re responsible for ‘throwing away’ the relationship.

But I also don’t think you got much support or validation when you spoke up. Instead, he seemed to gaslight you somewhat by suggesting that you were being unreasonable — by “jumping to conclusions” — and trying to make sense of the obvious discrepancies between his words and his actions.

You can only go off the information that you’re given, and if he’s only giving you mixed signals then of course your going to struggle with the decision.

At some point, though, the choice to continue to build and maintain a healthy nourishing relationship with you is his. If that’s what he wanted, he would’ve found a way to assuage your fears and clear up any misunderstandings to avoid losing you. But he didn’t do even that , which leads me to believe that he has already made his choice and he just hasn’t told you yet.

I know its painful. I’m going through a very similar situation myself. I just hope you will find some comfort in my words and make peace with yourself.

“Don’t set yourself on fire to keep another warm”