Dear surfthesky,

I can relate and I know exactly how you feel. I was completely “lost” in my adolescence, in my 20s and still are. I used to be over-concerned about how people would look at me and what they thought and felt about me. As time goes by, status, positions, work titles and degrees doesn’t matter. I know at this stage of your life, you are and need to figure out what’s your calling, passion and drive. I might be the least qualified person to ever try to give you life advice, as I have failed and done all mistakes that are possible to do. Hence, I can only give you insight into my life experience-

When I was your age, I was a drug-addict, with no future, no purpose in life. The only thing I knew was to hurt and break relationships. I compared myself to everyone and felt inferior every time. While all my schoolmates, friends, relatives and acquaintances all had a plan(Naively I assumed so) and knew exactly what they wanted to do in life(Again Naively assumed), I knew nothing. After I went to rehab and managed to get drug-free, I had to start from scratch. I tried studying computer science(gave up), civil engineering(didn’t like it), business administration(Too difficult and daunting) and then finally electrical engineering. I felt inferior, ashamed and “out of place” as I was way older than most of my peers. When I finally graduated, I got a wonderful, high-earning job. I assumed that would “complete” me and that was my purpose.

But then life hits me out of nowhere. Loss of my unborn child, the love of my life ditched me, and then later committed suicide.

What was important and my “purpose” back then, wasn’t important at all now. Everything changed, and I learned the hard way that we can’t control either time or changes. We just have to accept and live with them.

As I couldn’t cope with the changes, I “ran” away from all my “problems”. I didn’t ask for help and didn’t acknowledge life and changes. Time was unlimited for me, I falsely assumed. I tried to find the “purpose” again, and after not finding anything, I went back to my high earning, jet-set life.

Then life gives you a wake-up call. Time is limited. I lost my job, got Covid, lost my apartment, car, all my money, everything.

I had to move back to my mothers apartment. No friends, no family, nothing at all in life. Now, in my forties, still “lost” and trying to find my purpose in my life.

I know my post is confusing and doesn’t make sense at all, but I’m just trying to say that the decisions you have made, felt right at the moment. And, there is never “too late” to do something else. Just follow your heart.

Better to try and fail and not trying. That will just make you regret things, and I know everything about regrets.

I don’t have any good advice for what’s right and what’s wrong, or what you should or shouldn’t do. Just want you to know that most people feel “lost” sometimes in their life, the most important thing is that you have acknowledged it and asked for advice/help. You are young, your journey has just started, so keep your head high, cherries the good times and moments. Keep friendships and family relationships, and you will slowly find some inner peace and your “purpose”.