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Dear Elizabeth:
I know from our short communication previously that you are a very private person and that sharing your burdens is not easy for you because you “sort of learnt early in life that people tend to use your weakness and especially your pain against you” (Sept 15, 2021). And therefore, I appreciate that you felt safe enough here to post a new thread and share your burdens some more. In my response to you, I need to be careful to not do what was done to you: to not use what you share against you in any way, shape or form.
“I have seen what you do to people you like- I have seen what you do to people you do not love- I do not want to be either“-
-this is quite profound, to me: when a person mistreats the people he likes and the people he does not like.. this means that he mistreats or will mistreat everyone that he interacts with long-enough, that it’s just a matter of time (?)
“for you I wasn’t even a friend- I was someone that you could find relief and comfort“- reads like he used you as some thing rather than someone, not treating you like a human who deserves genuine respect and appreciation.
“At the time I was dying to be heard and you happened to show up- For a short time, it felt like I was finally getting the relief that my soul craved.. the affection I craved so much“- the cravings of the soul are very powerful, including the craving to be heard, and the craving to be liked and considered special to someone.
“I fell deeper and deeper- Until I was completely immersed in you“- fell deeper and deeper into long ago hopes and dreams, reads like, to me, hopes and dreams of being heard and liked and attended to and loved.
“It’s been eight months since we broke up.. Gosh I hated you so much- The next few days I felt so lifeless and angry.. It’s been a rollercoaster.. I am taking it one day at a time- And I am hopeful that I will be fine one day“- I am hopeful too that you will be fine one day, sooner than later. Maybe today.. for a short while, if not for the whole day.
anita