Dear Ryan,

It feels so egocentric to believe my presence in her life was a positive while the disillusionment of our relationship will cut her so.

Yes, it is egocentric, because you leaving will cause her pain. It’s good you see that now…

I think a part of the dichotomy comes from feeling like I can be a positive influence in someone’s life, but knowing I’m incapable of giving them what they may need. In this case, it was safety, security, and kindness. However, I was unwilling or unable to give her love (or at least the type of love she wanted).

I feel that I can be a very good friend–which is what I should have aimed for in this relationship–but also understand that a relationship with me can be emotionally painful.

As before, I do hope that she and I can eventually find a friendship. … Perhaps in time, we can have some semblance of a friendship.

So your primary motive for getting into a relationship is wanting to connect as friends, and not wanting to be more than friends. You want to be a positive influence, someone to be admired and appreciated, but not someone who…. [finish the sentence – what does being in a romantic relationship mean to you? What would you need to sacrifice that you aren’t willing to? What are you afraid of in a romantic relationship?]