Hi Oskari.. I read your post with interest as I (and it would seem many many people here and in the world) have self esteem issues. I don’t think age/sex/race or creed is immune to it.. and John’s reply was very thought provoking. Struggling with low self esteem is probably like trying to hit your own shadow..it is impossible to fight and we just end up exhausted!! It may come down to how we perceive self esteem. Is it “I am great! ” but underneath the awareness of our dark side still terrifies us and we lock it away in case anyone sees it and doesn’t like us for it? I don’t think so.. well not now anyway.. Self compassion, I believe, is the way. i often wonder what it is in the people I admire the most in my life.. and it is this.. having the integrity and honesty and courage to acknowledye their faults while not beating themselves up about them..those who are open and unafraid to be ‘vulnerable’..ie being fully human and yet not minding what others’ opinions are of them.
I may be wrong but inside it feels right. And it this I am working on in myself right now as opposed to trying to convince myself I am some super human happy clappy person! So maybe it could be something as simple as allowing all the ‘bad’ bits of you to come into your awareness and instead of judging them, or trying to even change them.. just sit silently with them and listen to what they have to say..with love. Try it. You might be surprised! Good luck!
(PS I am 46..! so there’s hope for us all!)