Hello Isabel. From what I’ve read, it sounds like you’re unhappy in your marriage. Cheating is never ok, and you should never make any justifications for it, but in this scenario, it seems like your husband was highly critical of you and wasn’t satisfied with the relationship, and neither are you. Usually, unhappy people under someone’s control usually try to undermine said control, even subconsciously. Now, you didn’t go as far as to sleep with your coworker, so you should absolve yourself physically at the very least. You are not perfect Isabel, no one is, and if you are truly not satisfied, then I suggest leaving the relationship. However, the fact that you have an 18 year old in attribution to your extensive marriage also might make this hard. You can explain to your husband that he should stop making you feel inadequate, and that you two are partners, not a parent and a child. Best wishes Isabel, StarSeed.