Thanks for reaching out Anita.

Yes we met and we spent some time together. It was great and we really enjoyed the short time we spent together. To be honest, if I think clearly, I’m not even sure if it’s true that she has a boyfriend because I somehow believe she said that in order to push me further away. I could always see the pain in her eyes due to past heartbreak as well as other personal issues. She’s a lot younger than me and I can understand her struggle with decision making.

The moment I got mad I didn’t really had any intention to hurt her nor give her pain. I would never do that. I just wanted for her to realize that I’m disappointed and hurt. I did delete our photos right away and told to myself I would get over this. However after two weeks, I reached out just to say that I’m sorry for the things I said and that I wish her the best. I told her that was my weak moment because I was heartbroken. I had to apologize because I still wish her the best even after she broke my heart. She replied that everything’s fine and that she knows how heartbreak feels. She said she’s sorry for everything. And that’s about it.

I’ve had some relationships before and I’ve experienced heartbreak before as well but this time my whole world crushed down over me because this is the type of girl that’s hard to find. I know she’s a good person and I do wish her the best but still, many questions bother me such as why didn’t she tell me right away that she doesn’t want anything to do with me. I would take it much easier back then. I feel like she gave me false hope by telling me she loves me, misses me and wants to spend time together. I think this is the classic type of situation for the heartbroken girl after her ex brakes her heart “you broke my heart so I broke his”.

I thought the problem was me. Maybe she didn’t like something about me but then I would look where I stand as a person and I have everything I evet wanted, a dream job, perfect career, independence and I do know how to give love and how to take care of someone I love.

I don’t even know what to think anymore. Maybe she needs more time to heal. She obviously does but then the boyfriend part confused me the most because I saw her emotional emptiness and I doubt she’s capable of having a relationship right now. She even told me once that she won’t be in a relationship for a long time. It was weird because today she feels excited to see me and then 10 days later she tells me shes has a boyfriend. Maybe she panicked for some reason. It’s not that I don’t want to believe that but rather it doesn’t seem realistic to me.

And yes, she had a hard time opening up to me even though she tired many times. She knew she can trust me with opening up but still this is the type of girl that thinks too much but talks too little.

I guess I have all the answers but still, it hurts because she’s special to me.