Dear Tracy:

You shared that you are a very outgoing, empathetic, kind and attentive independent woman who works nights for a living and is able to provide for yourself daily. You’ve been a widow for six years, soon to have a milestone birthday (60 or 65, perhaps). You are looking for a relationship with a kind and respectful man who will be your cheerleader and best friend, and who will share his life with you.

You stated: “I have loved and will never forget that love“, and “Companionship and friendship never end… People need people, socialisation and touch. The touch of a shoulder the touch of a hand“.

I hope that you find the friendship and love that you are looking for, with an honest and independent man, and that the two of you embrace the big changes in our world together, being each other’s best friend and cheerleader.

You asked potential suitors four questions. These are your questions and my thoughts about your questions:

(1) “Are you afraid of sharing my love with a ghost?“- This question is appropriate to ask a man with whom you already had deep conversations, but it is not a good question to ask men you don’t know anything about. The word “ghost” may weird out potential suitors

(2) “Are you independent or are you simply hoping that I may be a wealthy widow?” (3) “Are you wanting a nurse maid, or do you want a friend to grow older with?“- these two are bad questions in this context of wanting to meet honest, good men because they are confrontational. Honest, good men reading these two questions are likely to feel uncomfortable, feeling that you are suspicious of them, that you are accusing them of what they are not guilty of, and doing so when they are strangers to you, before you even know that they exist. These men are not likely to respond to you.

Of course, you need to evaluate men’s characters and protect yourself from men who would want to take advantage of you but do so after you start communicating with a particular man, getting to know him.

These two questions, particularly the 2nd, may get the attention of dishonest men, leading some men to read “I may be a wealthy widow“, the word WEALTHY jumping out of the page, in their minds, and they may think: a wealthy widow…. hmmm, maybe I can get some of her wealth for myself!

(4) “The globe has changed so much can you embrace change and friendship?” – this is an excellent question, a neutral conversation starter: you don’t detail the changes the globe has gone through, you don’t give those changes a positive or negative value, and so, you are encouraging as many men as possible to feel comfortable answering this question.

anita

Dear Tracy:

You are welcome. I am sorry that you were scammed online, and that you were scammed numerous times. It is very sad that people take unfair, dishonest advantage of other people. It happens a lot, to a lot of people (including myself) and it breaks my heart that it happens at all: I wish it never happened!

Please take all the precautions needed so that it never happens to you again! But like I suggested in my previous post, stating these suspicions on an introductory profile on a dating site is likely to turn good men away, and get the unwanted attention of those who will try take advantage of you, if given the chance.

“I and my late husband worked hard” – honor all that hard work, honor yourself and your late husband by being very discerning as to whom you invite into your life.

You are a PSW, a Personal Support Worker. I can understand that you want to meet an independent man who will be your best friend and travel companion. Understandably, you don’t want to meet a man who will be an (unpaying) client who will take advantage of your PSW skills! By being discerning and cautious, you can weed out unsuitable men and locate one who is suitable (you only need the one!)

anita

Dear Tracy:

You are welcome and thank you for your empathy. There are so many people whose … instinct, so it seems, is to make a financial profit any which way, no matter the pain they cause to good people. It’s done online and it’s done offline, on a small scale (it doesn’t feel small though when it’s done to you!) and on a massive scale. I don’t know if any person escapes being victimized for financial profit. Good and discerning people are careful to do their best to (1) not harm others, (2) not be harmed by others.

I hope that you post any time you feel like it, and I will be glad to read from you and to reply.

anita