Dear Shve:

You are welcome and thank you for your appreciation and kind words. I spent all that time yesterday on your post not just “for a stranger online”. Writing to you led me to a better understanding of the very unfortunate, very common practice of Abuse of Power, starting in most homes (parents abusing their power over their children in one way or another), on to bullies in school… on to men abusing their power over women, and on and on, all the way to currently, one powerful man abusing his power against all of Ukraine and Russia… and the world.

Also, there really is no such thing as “a stranger online” or in real life. We people have so much in common wherever we live, whatever gender, age, race, education, experience, etc., we are all one big human family. Of course, like in many families, we don’t all get along, and some abuse their power over others.

“It has affected the quality of my life in a very big way especially because he faced no consequences of this in fact just the opposite, he’s doing very well in life… he has all the luck in this world to not face consequences, flaunt his new life and family, do well in his career, not have to apologize and just walk around like nothing happened“,

“I guess somewhere in my mind I keep thinking he will face consequences, but since it never happens, it puts me into a downward spiral mentally.  Do you or anyone here have any thoughts on how I can make peace with this situation especially because I see firsthand that he has no consequences?”

To come to peace with this situation, you need some justice. You need him to suffer consequences for the wrongs he’s done to you. And for as long as there is no justice, you are stuck in a mental downward spiral quality of life. Here are all the possible (and impossible) ways for you to receive justice, as far as I can think. Please let me know what you think of each way, and if in your mind, there are additional ways:

1) In the U.S., for as long as not too much time has passed (statute of limitation), a woman in your position could sue him in civil court, asking for monetary compensation for damages, (2) You could contact his wife and tell her about what happened, hoping that she will give him trouble for what he’s done, and/ or you could gossip about him to people who know him, hoping to damage his reputation this way, (3) You could arrange to meet him in-person and proceed to physically hurt him in such a way that he will live with chronic pain and/ or disability, (4) You can get involved in a justice-seeking movement, or start your own, educating teenage girls and young women about the practice of sexual subjugation of women/ abuse of power by men against women , so to prevent other women from suffering the injustice you suffered for so long.

anita