Dear Shve,
Whilst my marital situation was not the same as your relationship with this “man (not a REAL man is he?), I came away with the same feelings of betrayal, feeling used, and my self-esteem and trust in my own judgement were severely affected in negative ways.
I did have a few relationships after that. Could have been poor judgement on my part, but I think I let myself get “hooked in” and stayed in unhealthy relationships too long.
I have been on my own for over 2 years now, and I feel much more emotionally stable than I ever did in relationships with men. I am much older than you, and so I gave up hope of being in a relationship. I haven’t gone out of my way to meet anyone, let alone a type of selection process.
In that time I have been able to focus on getting a much better job. I just have a very small number of close to friends, and I really like where I live. I’m pretty much a home body and I’m in a nice part of the world.
None of the men I was with are worth free rent space in my head. For all you know, his wife may be miserable now or in the future. He is a cad and really, you are better off without him.
I have worked with a lot of young Indian men and women, and understand and there are many pressures andexpectations relating to dating and marriage. I did have one female friend whose marriage was arranged by their families, and they were very happy, but it could have worked out either way because really, however it happens, you take a chance.
So good to hear of the support you offer younger women.
Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 