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HoneyBlossom

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 189 total)
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  • #401199
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Thank you all for the interesting post and replies.  I’m reading and following.

    #401196
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    That’s amazing Anita. What do you think brought the changes you felt about yourself.

    #401194
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    I am so sorry to read this Lea. I can’t bear the thought of losing mine as they are both seniors.  I lost 2 senior ponies and my cat was just short of 20 when she went.  I think losing dogs is harder though.

    #401193
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Hello Hasaani,</p>
    I am very sorry you have experienced all of this.  To ne, your husband and his family don’t sound like good people.  You deserve so much better

    #401192
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hello Anita and thank you. I’m s I rry I have been away longer than I expected, but I became very ill and not returned to work yet. I developed very bad bronchitis which has affected my blood pressure, making it dangerously low.

    The hospitals around here are full.  They were stressed to the Max even before COVID.  I went to the Emergency Dept with breathing difficulties and chest pain and wasn’t seen for more than 6 hours.  They told me I could not be admitted as they had no beds.  My son came up 400kms immediately to care for me which was very good of him.  He has gone back now.  He took me to GP the next day who noted my blood pressure and sent me back to the hospital with a letter saying I needed to be admitted to monitor my blood pressure.

    There was a child who came in with sane cough as mine. They did do an xray and said it was bronchitis.  I have a ventolin puffer to use and pain relief.

    I was very embarrassed that my son saw my home in such a mess. He hasn’t been to my place for quite some time as we usually meet somewhere in between where we live so he doesn’t have to travel so far.

    One if the worst things is that I had spent most of my leave cleaning.  He remarked it has gotten on top of me and wants to come back in the spring – 4 or 5 months time with a friend to help me declutter.

    I can’t help it but I have been trying to clean today.  I am grateful for his help and have said yes, but I am extremely embarrassed – humiliated. When I was married and a lot younger, even his father said I had everything all lovely.

    At least there was no pet smell. I recently found a product that gets rid of it all.

    The problem is clutter – one entire room, though the smallest in the house filled with unused furniture and items.  My laundry still had tins of paint and things from unfinished renovations, and my walkin pantry filled with items which should be tossed.  There’s the garage too. Thank God he didn’t go in there.  That is the worst.  I had organised some time ago to pay somebody to come take it away for me, but it rained on the day, and he cancelled.  I didn’t get to follow up as friend said she would help me do it but she really is too busy herself.

     

    I clearly need a plan of attack on this.  It gets me down.

    #400740
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    I am the odd one out here because I have had times of wishing I was gay but unfortunately, I don’t feel sexualising attraction to women.  I don’t like MOST men. Some are okay but all my relationships were disappointing – mostly due to my own poor decision-making and desperation for love.

    I do find Keanu Reeves very attractive and LOVELY. Unfortunately, I’m not sure if anyone like him exists in real life.  If th we y did, there would be such a long queue if interested women, I wouldn’t stand a chance. Yes, he’s handsome but it’s more his personality I’m very attracted to.  I used to really like Viggo Mortensen too.   LOL, largely because of “just how he is with horses”.  I think you have to be a horseperson to understand that.

    #400739
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    I don’t think you are gay either but as gree with Anita.  Stop smoking cannabis. I would refrain from recreational drug use.  I think it’s messing with your mind also.  I have read posts by people from other forums who claimed they had relationship problems when they became addicted to porn/over-used it.

    I think it would be rare fir a person to suddenly realise they were gay.

    #400738
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Ho Celeste.  I am glad to hear the surgery went well.  I was doing some pet sitting before COVID.  I greatly enjoyed it and the money was okay.  Then when lickdiwn came nobody could go away. I did manage to get a full-time job though.  I’m 62 now.  I can’t even semi-retire for another 5 years. I would live to do the pet-sitting again.  My best friend is 65.  She had to retire early due to an injury.  She us very in demand fir pet sitting and has regular clients plus she does retail sales.

    #400737
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hugs Kea and THANK YOU!  I’m so impressed that you are studying to he s vet.  Do you hope to only work with large animals ir will you wirk with small domestic ones as well?

     

    My vet has guessed my darling teeny rescue girl to be 17 years old though I think she could be younger. She has epilepsy and is on Phenomav which is controlling it.  I told my vet I was convinced she has Cushings Disease because if a number of issues she has.  Blood tests confirmed this

    Due to her age and an existing heart condition, Western medicine won’t be an option. I converted both my dogs to home-cooked, human-grade, easily digestible food – lean meats, fresh vegetable, fish oil and lot of supplements.

    The are also on Chinese medicine and herbs. I bought an infrared torch and am learning advanced photonic therapy – the torch is shone on accupuncture points. I’ve only been doing it a short while, but I do believe Ashwagandha seems tove virtually completely stopped cortisol-induced panting at night.

    She is on Frusemide as and adjunct to heart meds which makes her wee at night, but at bedtime, she gets a disposable nappy on and a onesie over it and she doesn’t mind a bit.  If I knew how to post photos I would.  She is only 3kg in weight.

     

    #400736
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hi Lea,

    Understandably the bullying has affected your self-confidence.  I read in one of your threads about things that 6 foot guy said and did to you.

    It sounded to me like he was obsessed with you and wanted to date you, and when you didn’t agree, he got nasty. Also, often teenage boys are very immature and do weird things to get attention from girls.  Any attention is better than none to them.

    #400735
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Thank you Anita.

    I have been feeling really sorry for myself and having a big puty-party when I know I should be grateful for the things I do have.

    I don’t feel ready to go back to work, but I have to for financial reasons. I have been seeing photos on FB of both my sisters holidays.  Both are retired and have b even a couple of years – they are bith well-off financially.. Often I feel I will be working until I drop dead.  I can’t even partially retire for another 5 years.

    I had also been feeling down in the dumps about being moved from a workplace I have loved to a place few people have wanted to work at. Mostly this was because of a really nasty manager and one other nasty worker.  It turns out the nasty manager has been gotten rid of.  One of the other more senior managers rang me today to give me feedback on another job I applied for.  He told me the place I am going back to is quite a different place since that nasty manager was finally gotten rid of.

    It’s a difficult place to work.  The clients either can’t speak or can only say a few words. All of them are mostly incontinent and require full meal assistance.  I’m not getting any younger and don’t know how I will go.  My first shift us a 6 30am start and 5pm finish and it’s 45 minute drive away.  I have to sleep over a minimum of 6 times in a 28 day month, and work every second weekend with split shifts and sleeping over. I just don’t want to be doing this number of sleepovers any more.  I had been w I ring a lot of 12 hour shifts. Thankfully, there are fewer of those. I must not ley myself burn out like this again.  In my work, and in nursing, a lot of people have left through burnout since COVID.  Even though lockdown is over, we lost a significant number of experienced staff who chose not to be immunised.

    I applied for another job in the same organisation. The interviewing manager told me that I did very well in the interview but another person did a bit better.  He said if there were 2 jobs, he would have given me second job. He did give me some ideas on improving my answers at future interviews.

    I’m not planning on applying for anything else immediately.  I will see how things go.

    I know I need c to get a grip on myself – practice more gratitude and be more positive.

    #400730
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Hello Lea, I posted my story on another thread so will just try to be brief.  I experiencedand witnessed domestic violence as a child in the home.  In highschool, I experienced a lot of ridicule and taunts, and was extremely lonely.  When I was 15, I took a large number of my mothers benzodiazepams.  I was found unconscious and taken to hospital. After waking up maybe 2 days later, I was seen by psychiatrists and transferred to a psychiatric hospital.  At 16, I left home and school to undertake a cadetship in an occupation of my choice.</p>
     

    All my life, I looked for love.  I was desperate for love and acceptance and made poor choices.

    Now I am in my senior years, I no longer look for love and acceptance.  I live a quite life although I still work full-time.  I have a very small number of close friends, and I have 2 dogs who are like children and friends to me.  I have an affinity with animals.  I don’t trust many people. I prefer mostly to be on my own with my dogs who give me so much love and affection.  One of my dogs was a rescue dog who had a really terrible life before she came to live with me.  I’m always amazed at how loving and happy she is despite where she came from.  I try to give both my dogs the best ever life.  I have also taken on rescue ponies in the past.

    I won’t be able to retire for a few years yet, but I would really love to care for more rescue dogs

    #400729
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Thank you so much Anita.  Yes, such relief.  I could have saved myself a lot of negative feelings if I had given up sooner.  I almost did, and then I met Geoff (the wealthy divorced farmer), and part of me believed what I wanted to believe.  It took me down a dark path which I have never wanted to go to again.  That’s been a couple of years now, and I’ve never even been tempted.

    Yes, the bullying is very damaging.  Thank God that was before Facebook and the internet when it could have been worse.  I think in my case, and likely many more cases, the more confidence the bully loses, the worse the bullying can become.

    There was real nastiness at that school.  I have never attended any of the reunions, and never will.

    My older sister retired earlier than she planned from the public service.  She made a claim of being bullied by her manager, and then claims of bullying and bad attitude was made against her.  She denies that she had a bad attitude or bullied anyone, but as well as me, she used to taunt a few selected girls in her class at school.

    I keep things polite and am nice, but I NEVER let my guard down with her.  A lit of those school bullies never change.

    My relationship with my mother, on nb the surface is okay, but she let me down badly over and over.  I think partly because she came from an abuse background herself, but also she had children when she was very young, and couldn’t grow up herself.

    Now she us a very frail old lady in a nursing home who has dementia.  She calls me and tells me she loves me.  I think she does.  Fir whatever reason, she just couldn’t be there for me back then.

    There is no point in carrying bitterness over my mother. She can’t even remember what happened earlier in the day.  Doesn’t even remember some of our relatives.

    #400674
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hi Javier,

    If you are reading this, I am a mother if young man in his 30s.  My life was difficult, but no matter anything my son did  I love him more than anyone in the world.  I think your mother is probably grateful th as t she has had the opportunity to spend time with you despite the circumstances.

    #400673
    HoneyBlossom
    Participant

    Hi Jess,

    I hope you are okay.  I have been in relationships where the men cheated on me.  One relationship lasted several years.  In hindsight, I think the only reason it lasted so long was that it took a long time for me to know the real him.

    I was hurt very badly by his cheating and lying though I took him back after the first time.

    I think it’s possible he told you about his affairs because he thought you might find out.  Like you, I felt desperate for the relationship to work out.

    When I caught him out with the second woman (and I suspected there were others – this was confirmed as correct later), he told the second woman that he didn’t want to live if he couldn’t see her.  He also told her that he would need to make contact with me at some point to make amends.  I told her to please NEVER contact me again, that would be best thing he could do for me  and that she was free to have him because I didn’t want him any more.

    He did try to contact me, but I never responded.  I recently found out he died 4 years ago.  I don’t know what he died from.  I know that when he was trying to contact me, he was in ANOTHER relationship with a lovely woman, and after she was hooked in by him  he wasn’t nice to her.

    I’m not glad he’s dead, but I’m glad I got away from him.  I’m happy on my own these days.

    Sorry, but I suspect your husband is a selfish liar.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 189 total)