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Bad job experience

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  • August 12, 2013 at 4:32 am #40250
    Nathan McCann
    Participant

    My previous and first ever part time job lasted 8 months, but Im surprised it lasted that long because the management was horrible, and subsequently made the thought of work actually unbearable, which Is the first time I could ever describe something like that. As a result it consumed my life even though I was only working on weekends. When I woke up on Monday mornings my first thought was work on Saturday morning. A good while has passed and I have gained another part time job which I start quite soon. However everytime I think of work that sickening sensation of my previous job comes back, along with stress and worry about whether I can do the job or what others will think of me if I do things wrong. What can I do?

    Any help appreciated

    August 12, 2013 at 7:59 am #40260
    Matt
    Participant

    Nathan,

    Simply put, consider “this is not that”. That job was stressful and icky, but this job is unknown. It is not as though all jobs produce that powerful feeling of dread… just your first one. Its normal to associate feelings like you’ve done, but you can let it go.

    Consider setting down the past. Imagine the past moments as a backpack full of stones, and visualize yourself taking it off. Setting it down. Then, briefly turn to it and say “goodbye Nathan of the past, situations of the past. I forgive you for being heavy and painful. Thank you for helping me learn who I am and what I enjoy.” Then go find something to do which is caring for yourself. Read a book, ride a bike, paint, draw, sing, walk, meditate… let your body know that you are a good guide, and can take it into loving and joyful situations.

    Its good to keep remembrances of old times, but even more important to keep our connection to where we are, here, now. The dread doesn’t fit where you are, it is where you were. Where you are is free, and try to help your body see that, and the emotion of dread will fade away.

    With warmth,
    Matt

    August 12, 2013 at 12:25 pm #40277
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Nathan,
    Matt volunteers excellent advise. It was a painful experience – you are rid of it – now rejoice! Do not let an abusive situation like that rob you of your inheritance of a full and meaningful life in this very moment! On a personal note, I have had my share of terrible jobs – lots of them! And I have now settled into doing work that is not quite as lucrative as past jobs but it is enjoyable. It still feels like a job – I would still rather be doing something else, I would still rather have my time be entirely my own – but it is not dreadful like past jobs. When searching for jobs take your time. Please do not look at them solely through the eyes of economical gain. You will be blind to the potential negative atmospheres that will fill your mind with dread, fear, all of those things we must spend our time in this life consuming with love and attention. Look for positive situations. Look with patience and love and you will find a situation the will provide a space for you that will be filled with patience and love. And hopefully a decent paycheck!

    I am sorry you went through such a painful experience. I assure you that what you are feeling now – dread at the anticipation of getting another job – has everything to do with your past negative experience and not with future jobs. Do as Matt says – let go of the past painful experience. Grieve it, mourn it. It was painful and it was harmful and toxic to you. Honor that once and for all and then let it all go. Look to the future, or better yet, look to the present! Look at what life has before you right now and let go of both past and future. If you keep your gaze fixed here you will never go wrong. Especially if you are now looking for new opportunities you can’t afford to not be aware of the present and the sundry opportunities it will provide for you. In your search, keep an open heart.

    -J.D.

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