Dear Girl:

“I grabbed him  and told him I wanted to keep going…. He told me he didn’t want to risk getting me pregnant. I told him ‘we’ve done it before I won’t get pregnant, please.’ He said no again 2 more times… (he)  said, ‘come on, let’s have sex’. And we do.. A couple days later he brings up that what happened that night was rape, and looking at it I know it is”-

choosing therapy. com: “Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, guilted, tricked, threatened, or forced in a nonphysical way. Coercion can make you think you owe sex to someone…  Coercion does not include consent… Consent is freely and voluntarily given and can be withdrawn at any time… Here are some examples of sexual coercion: Badgering– In this scenario, sexual coercion results from repetitive asking and questioning until you are so worn down that you give in. This can happen any time, from a first date to those in long term relationships and marriages. The person is persistent and it can feel easier to just go with it than continue defending your answer… Emotional manipulation:…  they begin to withhold any kind of communication, contact, or safety in the relationship until they get what they want. Guilt Tripping: .. Sexual coercion through guilt occurs when you are given the option to refuse, but are made to feel bad for doing so, and you give in to the advances”.

domestic violence. com: “While sexual coercion may not be considered to be rape because the other partner did consent to it, it’s still considered to be a form of abuse. That’s because it usually takes place without any physical force, but the constant asking or threats may cause you to feel forced into the situation. Sexual coercion happens to both women and men, of all different ages and all different types of relationships. It’s very common among pre-teens and teenagers today. It can even happen in marriage as well when one spouse pressures and manipulates the other spouse until they reluctantly give in. Afterward, they may feel violated and do not feel good about it afterwards. In legal situations, it may not be considered to be a sexual assault scenario, but it’s one that no one should have to put up with”.

What do you think and how do you feel about these quotes, Girl?

anita