Dear Sadlyconfused,

I would just like to add and echo anita’s words: please have compassion for yourself.

I have actually very recently realised that self-compassion is probably key to developing more emotional resilience (I started a workbook on self compassion just the other week!) so it’s reassuring that you’ve advised this. I think I’ve harshly judged myself all my life for the reactions I have and felt like there was something wrong with me.

That’s wonderful that you’ve realized the importance of self-compassion and have started a workbook on that topic! We all need self-compassion, but specially people who were heavily criticized as children. We need that loving, kind, compassionate voice to replace the harsh voice of the inner critic.

Something has just occurred to me – you asked who you are (since you are not and shouldn’t be a people pleaser!) Well, your true self is a compassionate self, having the voice of a gentle, kind and loving parent. If you can find such a voice within yourself, this is the voice of your True Self. If you get anchored in self-compassion, the pieces of the puzzle will start coming together, and you’ll be discovering more and more of your authentic self.