Dear Nala1234:

In your recent post you shared that for a year, you were part of a friend group of 9 people. One of your 8 friends was your best girlfriend (I’ll refer to her as B), and another friend was a guy (Ill refer to him as G). By the end of the year, you started dating G. B suggested directly to you that the relationship was unhealthy, and she spread that idea within the group. She “began to make up stories and lies” about G, painting him as “a really bad guy“. As a result the others in the group treated G poorly, they “put him down and really bullied him into feeling bad about himself“, negatively affecting his mental health.  Every time you and G “attempted to address these issues .. with specific examples… they all just denied any of it happening, telling us that we were overreacting and crazy“, and that their lives did not revolve around yours.

“When we started dating, it rubbed a lot of people in the group the wrong way…  they felt that anytime just the two of us would do something, it was wrong“- at one point, it seems that the 7 friends did  not want you and G to spend any time away from the group. They wanted you and G to spend all your time as part of the group. Does this mean that  for the whole year of the group friendship (before the dating),  they thought that G is a good guy (the idea that he was a bad guy never came up), and that’s why they wanted him within the group, being possessive of him… and only after the dating, the idea and lie that G is a bad guy was told for the very first time?

* Was there any romantic attraction or relationship history between B and G?

anita