Dear Eric:

You are welcome! I was thinking about you yesterday, Eric, because it was Sunday and I was wondering about the 2nd date. I was a bit worried that maybe it didn’t take place, so I am pleased to receive your recent post this Monday morning (my time), and read that not only did the 2nd date take place, but it was an excellent date: congratulations for a second excellent date!

I know that it was an excellent date because (1) There was a lot of conversation, including about each other’s families, (2) She initiated taking a picture together with you, (3) You asked her for a 3rd date and she agreed right away, no hesitation.

“turns out her family wasn’t perfect either. I felt really calm, because if her family was like that, she can understand better my family situation“- exactly. Plus, the more you talk to her, the more imperfect things  you will find out about her, and the calmer you will feel about your own imperfections. Just as you wouldn’t want her to be perfect (it would have made you feel too imperfect), she wouldn’t want you to be perfect (for the same reason).

“I haven’t told her about my anxiety and my family issues, but I did tell her a lot about my main family (the 4 of us)“- it is a good thing that you didn’t tell her a whole lot on the 2nd date. Sharing about personal matters should be a bit at a time, so no one gets overwhelmed with too much information.

“Although we talk a lot, I didn’t feel like there is a moment to flirt. I don’t really know how to flirt in real life“- it is okay that you didn’t flirt with her in-person during the first and second date. If you did, it could have been awkward for you and for her. Think of it this way: the 2nd day went very well, she agreed to a 3rd right away, this means that the date was excellent just as it was.

“I did flirt with her by texts. But in real life I can’t… I’m not experienced“- a lot of things are easier over text and online than in-person, so it makes sense to me that it’s easier for you to flirt by text. Remember that she too is not experienced. If she was with an experienced man, maybe she’d feel uncomfortable. If I was her age, single, on a 1st or 2nd date with a guy,  I would have preferred an inexperienced guy over an experienced guy.

“I’m running out of ideas because I can only ask her to hang out by watching movies, dessert and dinner. Idk if she’ll get bored eventually“- movies, desserts and dinners won’t get boring for her because at different dates she can watch different movies, and she can pick different items on the menu (or the same and still enjoy), and/ or go to different restaurants, etc.

“I don’t have any significant hobby. So it’s hard for me to ask her to do sports together or something like that“- maybe she doesn’t have a significant hobby herself and maybe she would feel uncomfortable playing a sport with a guy she is dating.

“also do u think I should ask her out more often, like maybe increase it into 2 times a week? I don’t want other guys to snatch her“- (1) no one snatched her before you met her (she didn’t have a relationship before you), so why would she be snatched now… (2) if you know her schedule (and yours), you can figure if she has the time to see you more often than once a week, and you can ask her if she would like to see you more often.

“I’m worried“- I opened this post saying that I was a bit worried yesterday. I said a bit because I was not tortured by worry, I didn’t think worrying thoughts all day yesterday. Try to be a bit worried.

And again, congratulations for doing as well as you do!

anita