Maybe I did not explain myself correctly. I am definitely after more happiness, fulfillment, career success and so on but I either don’t know what to do to attain it or I don’t know how much is enough.

I am grateful that as the years are going by, there is more peace of mind either because my family has split up and we don’t get on each others’ nerves anymore. Basically the suffering has lessened for everyone, for various reasons.

But I also feel I have the ego body of a child and not that of an adult. There is some truth in what you say. I don’t understand myself at times haha.

Also, I observe that those who are younger to me are more mature, doing well in their career & personal life and have lovely personalities. I feel sad about all the wasted years of my life. I wish I could go back in time and change many things.

But I am also proud of the individual I have turned out to be, considering the circumstances that we went through. Basically I did not end up a complete failure or a messed up person.

I have to work on many things like understanding expectations, being comfortable with confrontations, understanding adult relationships; a lot of things that constitute the EQ of a person. I learn a lot by observing people around me.