Forum Replies Created
December 9, 2022 at 11:57 pm #411582
Thank you Anita for the encouragement 🙂December 9, 2022 at 1:16 am #411540
Today, I spent a half hour trying to read a book. I had impulses to check my phone and I noticed how the sensations felt in my body at that time. I also failed twice and did check my phone for which I forgave myself. At the end of it, I noticed how I enjoyed reading the book.December 7, 2022 at 10:14 pm #411486
There were a lot of insights to be gained from reading the blog. Thank you for pointing me in that direction. I hope that I too can make progress in the way that the author has mentioned. Looking forward to making this journey..December 7, 2022 at 3:58 am #411450
I like cows. I like watching its innocent eyes.
I also love watching baby elephants playing.December 5, 2022 at 3:32 am #411331
Dear Anita & Tee,
Thank you so much for your time, patience, tips provided and for the valuable resources mentioned:)December 3, 2022 at 1:11 pm #411157
At the end of my previous post to you, the one you responded to 10 hours ago, I asked you if you grew up without a mother, and/ or without adequate physical touch, but you didn’t answer or respond to my question. Is it because you didn’t notice my question (because of concentration difficulties), or because you read my question but forgot it by the time you responded (because of poor memory)?
It feels a little vague for me Anita. We have never had a meal together etc. My mother did the best she can buy trying to make up for the quarrels but there was lack of communication, emotional bonding, guidance etc. I am unable to express myself clearly.December 3, 2022 at 6:20 am #411132
You have beautifully worded what I was unable to express. Thank you Tee! I will work on some of the solutions you all have suggested.December 2, 2022 at 10:49 pm #411128
Thank you for the book recommendations. I will go through it and the topics on the internet.
“it seems to me that you have suffered from a whole lot of stress for a long, long time, which led to your concentration difficulties, lots of confusion, stress headaches, depression and poor memory.”
Yes Anita. Headaches have become a lot lesser and no signs of depression but the other things you mentioned are there I think. I don’t understand if the way I perceive myself is the way people perceive me or how I should behave at my age and so on.November 25, 2022 at 7:03 pm #410731
I can relate to the things you have mentioned. Is there any book I can read which will give me pointers on how to be more confident, trust myself and so on?
My mother used to work very hard to take care of us. She would take care of my father and us no matter what happened. I did not have any communication with my mother growing up. She used to be very busy. Its only since a few years we talk to each other.November 25, 2022 at 12:26 am #410682
My mother has grown weak with age but she has returned to her usual strong self. She just wants to see me happy.
“Are you perhaps aware of an inner critical voice (the inner critic) which is telling you certain negative things about yourself? For example, “I’ll never be happy”, or “I am such a freak” (both of these is what I’ve been telling myself while suffering from an ED). So what are those thoughts/beliefs that you have about yourself, which sort of run half-consciously in the back of your mind?”
I may be falling behind in life, not sure of the choices I have made, little afraid to make choices for the future. Everyone around me seems to be making a lot of progress. I don’t think I have failed but I feel I have not lived upto my true potential.November 24, 2022 at 5:23 am #410646
Actually my mother is healing with me but she has always been strong and supportive and kept the family together. Actually, she can do without me. Its just minor tiffs we have sometimes.
“You may not be aware of those false beliefs”
Exactly! I sometimes don’t understand what ‘normal’ means or how I am perceived or if I am saying the right things etc.November 23, 2022 at 6:18 pm #410625
I eat healthy food too but I also eat because I crave a good feeling.
“And how is it to live with your mother? You’ve shared that you like to help, so I am guessing you’re helping her a lot? How is it otherwise?”
These days because of office work, I am unable to help much. My mother is very supportive when I am down but I also stand up for myself if there is unreasonable blaming etc. We have a fairly healthy relationship.
“For example, if we haven’t felt loved as children, we’ll often be attracted to people who aren’t interested in us, or who are emotionally unavailable. And we’ll suffer because our love isn’t reciprocated. Maybe you had experiences like that?”
Experiences are teaching me a lot of things. I wish I did not have to learn this way. The downside is I am losing people although I m gaining a lot of lessons on the art of living.November 23, 2022 at 6:02 am #410578
Yes Tee, I am currently living with my mother.
Maybe there is more than one reason causing me to binge eat. I am not able to figure it out. I feel hungry most of the time but this is not happening since a long time, just a recent development.
“Please do, because I don’t think you’re a super laid back person with a thick skin, who isn’t hurt by anything, are you? ”
Hehe. Yes I will work on it.
“You’re welcome to share more about it, if you’d like to…”
I just feel very unclear and foggy in this regard. The person I like doesn’t like me back or vice versa. Just one time I let a person go and I regret it.November 22, 2022 at 2:09 am #410512
Hi Anita & Tee,
Thank you for sharing your struggles related to binge eating.
I do want to get out of the cycle of binge eating, even if it is gradual.
I usually don’t get angry easily, yet I will think on the lines you have mentioned, Tee.
Actually the split is in my family of origin and it was natural, due to death and my sibling moving out after being marriage. I am looking out for a partner but haven’t been successful on that front.
I saw a video titled “Finding your bliss” by Joseph Campbell. He describes purpose in a spiritual sense. Materialistically speaking, I used to work in a place which made me very happy but was not high paying and therefore now I am compelled to work in a field which offers high compensation but I think I am not happy (not entirely sure though). I will read up more on what Joseph Campbell has to say about purpose & the art of livingNovember 17, 2022 at 11:12 pm #410219
Dear Anita & Tee,
I got a little caught up with work and could not reply immediately. I did watch the video – “Anger is a signal and not a solution”. The points that caught my attention are, be aware of your emotions, embrace/feel it, do not react impulsively and that we are responsible for our situations and emotions(maybe not always- but the way we react- yes).
Anita, I appreciate the help that you have rendered whenever I need it. Please stick to your writing style which is verbose. Its very kind of you to think of accomodating my needs even in matters such as these.
Currently I listen to a lot of music to let my emotions dissipate in a healthy way but have caught the negative habit of binge eating too.
“As for the topic of purpose, I also believe that looking for purpose outside of ourselves, i.e. detached from our innermost being, as Joseph Campbell put it, will not lead us to happiness and fulfillment. But we need to be in touch with our “innermost being”, i.e. our true self. And for that, we need to know our values, our preferences and our boundaries too.”
I will read up what Joseph Campbell had to say about life’s purpose. Now that my environment is more peaceful and me having a lot of headspace unlike in the past, i am able to think more clearly so that I can work on myself. Perhaps with a little guidance, inner pondering and observing people whom I look up to/those who have had quite a normal upbringing, I will be able to lead a much more fulfilling life.