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Dear Joanna:
“On my walk I thought: I wonder if you get lost in thoughts just like I do sometimes, or are you often mindful and observant“- always have been heavily lost in thoughts, so much so, that I couldn’t describe to you the basics of what I walked through. What I saw, heard and felt was all happening in between my two ears. What was happening outside of my brain.. was lost to me. I think that I made progress in this regard, but progress from the extremes of inattentiveness is not objectively impressive, meaning: I would still be a bad eye (and ear) witness to an accident, let’s say.. couldn’t tell what cars would be involved, what make, what color, whether a vehicle was a car or a truck.. what happened, etc.
“Ever since I live here meditation and mindfulness is easier… Years ago it was exhausting trying to focus for 2 minutes. Minute or two of meditating was a success. Now I can sit on the balcony for a long time, look at the park, birds, trees without overthinking“- I recently came across scientific information (in the National Library of Medicine) about how emotional trauma, such as in childhood, literally damages/ injures the brain, causing “dendritic atrophy“: a wasting away of neurons in the brain.
So, it is not only physical injury (i.e., being hit, falling, viral infections) that injures the brain, but emotional injury as well. It is not surprising to me, because like my 2011-13 therapist used to say: “Everything is Physical“. When as a child you are overly stressed for way too long, the stress hormones themselves (hormones are physical) injure the brain! (The good news is that some healing can be done because of neuroplasticity).
“how beautifully written. I very much admire your kindhearted way of being“- thank you, Joanna, this is kindhearted of you to say!
“I think I will be sharing some thoughts tomorrow. Looking at the time, it’s past 12 at your place. Have a good day, Anita“- have a good night, Joanna. I am looking forward to read from you tomorrow. Signing out Mon, 1:07 pm: 10:07 pm your time, good night!
anita