Dear Swanky:

You are very welcome. I am so sorry to read that same-sex relationships in your country is illegal!

bbc. com/homosexuality, the countries where it is illegal to be gay (May 2021): “A crackdown on lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people in Cameroon has resulted in the arrest or assault by security forces of dozens of people this year, according to Human Rights Watch. In the most recent incident, two transgender Cameroonians have been sentenced to five years in prison after being found guilty of “attempted homosexuality”…. There are 69 countries that have laws that criminalise homosexuality, and nearly half of these are in Africa. However, in some countries there have been moves to decriminalise same-sex unions…”

forbes. com/ map shows where it’s illegal to be gay… (May 2020): “It’s still illegal to be LGBT+ in 70 countries, and you could be given the death penalty in 12… half of Europe has made no progress on LGBT+ rights since last year. And for the second year in a row, it shows that countries are moving backwards on the Rainbow Index, as existing protections are disappearing…”.

You wrote: “Before I ask her this question, like ‘What she thinks of same-sex relationships?’ I want to build our friendship and be sure she is comfortable talking to me about anything about herself…  Will definitely update you on if I was brave to ask or just chickened out lol, but all that depends on how close we have gotten“- I wasn’t aware yesterday of how dangerous it may be to ask her about her thoughts on same-sex relationships . I understand you chickening out for various reasons, a few of which are: not knowing her response, risking your job and maybe your freedom and safety as well…

You wrote: “We have no control about whom we love or are attracted to. It just happened and I can’t get over it. I often times obsess over her at work, if she doesn’t come to the office, I don’t feel motivated to keep doing the work. I am always at my best when she smiles at her“- beautifully said and expressed!

anita