Dear Joanna:

“I imagine it is weird to only recently remember how you felt in those moments“- it was weird all those years to  not remember at all how I felt back then. I lived as a stranger to myself.

“I remember being in my pajamas a lot, being cold… Can’t remember much feelings except of maybe being scared“- I bet it’s easier for your brain-body to remember the extent of the cold than it is to remember the extent of the fear.

“Does this mean memories (traumatic ones for instance) need to have this feeling, this 3rd dimension?“- to remember a traumatic event without remembering how you felt during the event, is like watching a movie of your life, watching it as if it happened to someone else… isn’t it, for you? (I may be the one misunderstanding how you experience memories of traumatic events).

“So what I understand is the everyday anxiety I feel is a result of childhood trauma, not processed trauma, and that better to not re-live those situations, not face this overwhelming fear. How to do it in small amounts and would it be helpful in processing trauma?…“- better re-live those situations in small amounts and gradually, over time (instead of trying to force oneself to feel too much in a short time). How to do it in small amounts and gradually? Best in quality psychotherapy, of course. In a self-help context, you can work on an inner child workbook. I wonder if you will benefit from reading from John Bradshaw‘s book “Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing your Inner Child“.

Of course, you can always share a traumatic event here, on your thread, something you already did. As you share, take breaks when it gets intense or uncomfortable,  notice your breathing from time to time, and take slow breaths, see what feelings come up, if any.

anita