Dear Eriads,

His issue is that the two of them have never really “bonded … It’s true that she does sometimes avoid him because she’s shy and she really doesn’t see him as anything more than my husband.

B also thinks it’s rude that she will sometimes come and go and not say “hi” to him or engage in conversation.

If your daughter sometimes avoids your husband and doesn’t want to say hi, it tells me she does feel certain resentment towards him. But the question is what is the cause of this resentment? There can be plenty. Just an example (I am mentioning this not knowing any of your background), it can be that she resents you for remarrying, it can be that her father doesn’t like that you remarried and she solidarizes with him. Or maybe she feels a certain pressure from your husband to be friendly with him, which she doesn’t like.

Also, the fact that the two of them never really bonded can be due to multiple reasons. Maybe it’s because you started dating him 3 years ago, which is at the beginning of covid, so you couldn’t really travel and spend fun time together? Or she lived with her father during covid? Or your husband prefers certain activities during leisure time, which your daughter doesn’t like? Again, there can be a number of reasons.

I think you should think about the possible reasons for your daughter’s distance and resentment, because that will give you the clue about how to deal with it. It could be a combination of more factors. It could also be that your husband is too sensitive and has too high expectations, so he kind of exacerbates the problem instead of acting like an adult (as you pointed out too) to seek resolution?