DevanC,

Sorry to hear you are experiencing the same however, I’m not sure I can be your inspiration.  My story is a sad one of half a lifetime that has been ruined by my inability to deal with my situation.  I feel that I could deal with it now if only I had the help and support of my friend but she has heard that story too many times and will not be pulled back into it.  She’s right.  Experience tells me that I am deluding myself.  I know I come across as being a pathetic, whining loser and keep re-reading the post on this thread from Crystal.  It’s a “pull yourself together and take responsibility for your life” type of message.  I keep telling myself the same but it doesn’t work.  There is something deep inside my subconscious that overrides everything else and does so by a big margin.  I can’t switch it off and it keeps switching on continuously.  It’s all very odd.