I have had trouble with therapists too. I see just a psychiatrist right now for bipolar. So I get it. I worked very hard on myself on my own through writing therapy and other coping skills. I don’t know what personally would help you but I can say that there is still hope. I understand you’re working through a very tough situation. That sucks that those hotlines can be pushy to get off phone. At least you know what works and what doesn’t work for you to an extent. Maybe something else on the resource page will help. But I’m here to talk to too.

I think it’s good to separate two things: Unemployment and poverty do not equate your worth. We all hit lows sometimes.  You’re human. You’re allowed to struggle. There’s a job section on this forum where you can post maybe about job hunting or something like that!

If you want advice or just someone to listen, I’m here too! Let me know how I can help. I think that you are being extra hard on yourself ON TOP of the financial struggle. The last thing you need is self-blame. And I see that self-advocacy has hit a dead end many times so it’s good that you found this forum.

As for job searching, there are also remote jobs if you can’t find something local. Just something to keep in mind!