Dear saggad,

you are welcome.

Now I feel embarrassed besides anger and bitterness…

Well, as Helcat said, don’t blame yourself. You were young and naive and easily manipulated by a much more experienced woman. I concur with what Helcat said: the only person you need to forgive is yourself.

And you need to learn to recognize selfish women and unhealthy relationships, where you just give and give, and don’t receive anything.

Just a thought: it could be that you were attracted to older women, because they served as a mother figure, and you wanted love and appreciation from a mother figure?