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Dear Aphroitte1:
I wanted to add that I am sorry for your recent losses, the loss of your grandad and his wife: “In December 2022, my grandad passed away due to a heart attack… In March 2023, his wife passed away due to cancer that manifested because of the sadness she carried for my grandad”.
It is difficult, in a way shocking, when people you knew your whole life are suddenly gone, no matter how old they are, isn’t it..
“This was the moment when I developed a fear of uncertainty in life, death, and panic that something bad would happen any moment to any of my close people. I became depressed, scared, and anxious all the time. (Don’t know how to solve this feeling, it eats me alive. I cannot enjoy anything in my life or be happy, I am constantly walking on eggshells)”-
– It is very difficult to be afraid on and on, so much of the time. I hope that you are feeling better, that you will be feeling better soon.
“I want to… Not to rethink everything for the 100th time. It kills me to be an overthinker, to have these thoughts and feelings.“- Overthinking what scares us keeps the fear going.. and the fear keeps fueling overthinking, it’s a vicious cycle. Having a daily routine of aerobic exercise and a variety of mindfulness practices can help.
anita